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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I broke up with my boyfriend about 3 ish weeks ago, I had gone to visit him (we live about 3 hours apart) and he didn't even turn up. Then I find out that he was sleeping with his ex at the time.He really hurt me and I have been finding it stupidly hard to get over him, he's the only guy I have ever loved and I trusted him implicitly.The thing I find the hardest is right up to when he betrayed everything, we were lying in bed together and he had his arms wrapped around me whispering in my ear that he loves me and he would never do anything to hurt me.Then he does this.Finally last Sunday I deleted like 400 text messages off my phone from him and actually thought I was getting over him, then I was at work last week and he turns up, out of the blue (as I mentioned previously, we live around 3 and a half hours apart) with a massive boquet of flowers and a box of chocolates. I really didn't want to see him, but agreed to speak to him after work.He told me how much he loved me, and how much he had messed everything up, and how he couldn't live without me.But I told him that he had hurt me just too much for me to be able to let him back in my life so he went home.Then the very next day, he changes his status to "in a relationship" and his best friend told me that he's back with his old ex.Then I got to work yesterday and there was a card in the post, it was from him and it said:"I promised you I would never do anything to hurt you darling, and I meant it. But Ive done stupid things I never thought I would lose you but I did.I love you. I know it doesn't mean much to you at the moment but I love you so much, my biker babe.The times when it was just me and you. I miss it so much.I love you darling.The inked up boy that used to be yoursxxx"I just don't understand why he is doing this to me? why mess with my head like this. why why why why?Also I was talking on the phone to my parents the other day, and they laughed and were saying how I was sounding so bitter about men, more like a 37 year old not a 19 year old. They dont really know whats going on but they know stuff is going bad.They also said something that made me think:they said you always go for the wrong guys, the bad ones, and you wonder why you get hurt, why don't you try going for someone nice for a change?I can appreciate what they mean but do I go for the wrong guys or do bad things just happen to me?my last ex knifed me in a club and I had 36 stitches down my arm.and my current ex is lovely (ergh how can I say that?) but he's a tattooist and a musician and he does quite alot of things like coke. But he had previously always treated me well.Im really sorry that this is so long but I'm going a little crazy in my head right now.Why is my ex doing this to me? He's hurt me and he's involved with someone else already, so why come back just to mess me up again?Am I asking for trouble by going for the "alternative" kind of guys with piercings and tattoos etc?Please help. Thank you and sorry.xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2008): All you had to say is this......my current ex is lovely (ergh how can I say that?) but he's a tattooist and a musician and he does quite alot of things like ....coke. But he had previously always treated me well.....
Anyone who does coke is a split off personality, his personality is disentegrating due to his drug addiction meaning you are not in a relationship with the person but with the drug or the relationship he has with the drug....he only loves coke, not you, and since sex and coke go together like bread and peanut butter, he doesn't care which girl he has stroking his er...ego....he certainly is not taking you or your feelings into consideration....write him off, he is a lost cause and if you are doing coke or any other kind of illegal substances, then cut it out, and stop going for these LOSERS....got it? The definition of insanity is doing the same things (or people) over and over again and EXPECTING different results...simple, change your choices get different results.
A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (25 February 2008):
 Hi
As an outsider, i can see that this guy isnt 'nice' he's just another bad boy....
Why do you always get the bad boys? Because thats what you are attracted to.
Your family will probably be able to help you out in this one, but you will need to ask them outright, doesnt sound like they want to offer help until you see whats going down first.
Your ex sounds like a confused liability by the way.
Good luck.
C xxxxx
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