A
female
age
36-40,
*allenangel85
writes:My ex who happen's to be my child's father has not been in my life for the past 5 years. No contact from him what so ever. He came back around as he was in the middle of getting a divorce from his wife. His first contact was to try to have a second chance at being in our child's life. That lasted a month and he decided that he had way to much going on that he couldn't commit like he needed to to building a relationship with her. After a bit of no contact again (him ignoring me) he came back around when I had a death I was dealing with. He was really nice lending an ear for me and just really being like a friend. Well since then we have still remained in contact, talking everyday. He has told me that him and his wife may not go through with the divorce, they are going to work on things, get help that kind of thing. Honestly I thought that communication would end but it hasn't. It feels like we are building a friendship and I really feel comfortable talking to him. However recently we have talked about subjects of a sexual nature and we briefly talked about what we remember from our past relationship. We have not spent a long time on these topics, but we do communicate everyday, he asks how my day was and what I might have planned the next day, things like that. Recently he has also included our child in asking about day and plans. My problem is first I don't know how to act with him? This is a new him, not the guy I remember from before. I also am trying to figure out why he is keeping me in his life at this point? I mean I know we have a kid together but he still hasn't seen her or even has made any moves to try to. Can someone give me some advice please. It would be nice to get a guy's point of view on what could possibly being going on in his mind
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2012): this isn't good...lots of blurring of boundaries all over the place which makes it unclear where everyone stands.
first of all, since he is MARRIED to someone else, it's inappropriate for you and him to be talking in an intimate way. If you two wouldn't talk about certain things in front of his wife, then your 'friendship' has crossed the line and is inappropriate.
it sounds to me like he doesn't care much for the child, and that he's just preparing for you to be his back up plan in case his wife leaves him. the fact that you two have a kid together, is just his excuse to be in contact with you but it's clear that he's not actually interested in his own kid.
do he and his wife have kids together? if so, then you will be competing with them for his money (child support) and attention.
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (30 July 2012):
 As hard as it is, I think the best thing to do is to regard him as a "stranger" with whom you share a child. And honestly, if he doesn't want to see his OWN child I wouldn't want to spend even 5 seconds with him. If he wants to see her but doesn't know how to go about it, help him.
What do YOU want from him? Have you talked about that with him? Have you even considered that?
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