A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I have been working at my job for 3 years now and I like it and I get along great with my other coworkers but there is one girl that I have been working with that has always seemed wishy washy.When I first started working there she barely talked to me and seemed kind of jealous (not to toot my horn but I'm skinny, young, pretty) but after a while she had began to change and wanted to get to know me I guess. She even sent me a friend request on fb and we are still currently friends. Our relationship seemed to be growing and we would have great convos and things of that sort but she always has had a habit of being a bitch from time to time and getting on everyone about their work. So recently when I have been coming in to work when I would greet her, she acts like she doesn't want to speak and she has been asking another coworker to help her out with stuff instead of me.So one day when I greeted her and waved she totally ignored me and walked into a room. Then I think out of guilt, she asked me if I wanted something she was eating and out of anger I had given her a sassy response and she was kind of surprised by it (her head jerked back).So ever since then she has been ignoring me, addressing other coworkers besides me and saying my name or talking about me like I'm not in the room, which I think is very immature. I personally think its more to her actions than me just saying a sassy remark as if she wants to be enemies with me now and I just don't know what to do because I don't want an issue with her,I just want to do my job and go home. I haven't done anything to her and I have been nothing but nice and polite to her since I've been working there so this attitude of hers is coming out of nowhere. I think maybe she could be jealous because we are mutual friends with another coworker and my boss is considering me for a higher position but I just don't know.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes I had given her a response but other than that I have always been nice and polite and thats not the first time she has been bitchy towards me. I am not the only person who has had issues with her at my job so I most likely its her. I was saying i was young,skinny n pretty as a comparison to her,should have been more specific but regardless thanks for the feedback :)
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (16 September 2013):
 you said: " had given her a sassy response"
and then you said "I haven't done anything to her and I have been nothing but nice and polite to her since I've been working there"
sorry it does not go both ways.
IF you are NOT the only person to have problems with her then it's her... if YOU are the only person to have problems then it's YOU.
BTW young and skinny is not my idea of the be all to end all and girls who claim "not to toot my own horn by I am young and skinny" crack me up not realizing that being young is a handicap in the real world and SKINNY is NOT attractive.
I sense that you are giving us YOUR POV here... and that you bring attitude that hurts you to your live.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2013): Wow to wise owl, if that hasn't summed her up don't know what will! I just answered a similar question. Yes she has her own resentment and issues regarding the fact you're attractive, great at your job, and like wise owl said it makes her sick that at the end of the day she's miserable and hung up on stuff and yet you're still your nice self... As someone that has had a LOT of different jobs in different sectors, I've had a LOT of unhappy people that are jealous of the fact I'm very likeable and good at my job... Where they're unhappy with their own lives.She cant claw your eyes out so She's trying to bring you down and make you come unstuck and come across as unprofessional, by making you doubt yourself, your confidence to do your job and creating tension so that you lose p your temper...Just confirming what wise owl said really, as met enough of these people at work! :/ Brush it off and focus on your job, not her :) xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2013): You are dealing with a moody person who knows how to manipulate and toy with people emotionally.
She knows how sensitive you are, and how hard you've been working to establish a friendly and peaceful relation on the job.
She does have it in for you. She gets satisfaction from picking at your sensitivities; because you have revealed that it is important to you to be liked by everyone. It bugs her that you generally are.
You also openly display your concern, and that allows her to easily manipulate you. You have to learn to just not give a shit, where this woman is concerned; and stop the schoolgirl popularity contest.
It is good that you keep a good working and professional relationship with all your co-workers. Keep it on a less personal level.
She has a right to ask whomever she wants to help her. Stop making her your pet-project. You can't make her like you.
It's an exercise in futility. She only got closer to get a better hold on you psychologically.
Settle for just getting along, and try and be an adult. Ignore the stupid talking about you crap. If it makes your work environment hostile, or effects your job-performance; take to Human Resources. Enough is enough.
Seriously, why the hell should such a immature thing bother you? You called it immature, yet your reaction to it is equally immature. Most of this is just girlish discomfort; because somebody doesn't like you. Please be more professional, and keep your feelings in check.
She's mocking you and making a fool of you. You're making it easy.
You are a very nice person. You make it your business to get along with people. It is usually something that is listed on your employee review. Your employer only needs to see what is on the surface. That you "work" well together.
That is all that is required of you.
Adopt that professional perspective when it comes to her.
If she ignores you, shrug it off that she's just being a moody bitch, and probably just PMSing all the time.
You're the ideal co-worker. Not all employees will appreciate that. If you simply can't make her like you,
settle for her respect. Learn to have a thicker skin when it comes to her.
When she sees there no reaction, and she can't get a rise out of you; you'll take all the juice out of her emotional manipulation and head-games.
Being nice to her pisses her off. You're pretty, thin, and nice. She hates you for that, so her mission is to make you miserable. Don't give her the power. She loathes you for trying, and thinks you're a condescending little priss. She has issues that your niceness isn't going to cure. So stop trying.
Smile at her, greet her daily as usual; ignore her when she ignores you; and go about your usual workday.
Stifle your emotions about it. You're at work, not on the playground.
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