A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'm 27 and my boyfiend is 23 but we have a problem. His father is my mother's half brother and we been together for a while and some people know but my mom doesn't and I don't think its a good idea but anyway, I was just wondering what I can do to stop the worrying about my mom finding out cause I think she will interfere because I have 3 boys and my other question is that my boyfriend wants a baby but I'm scared. I want a baby too, but the risk of having one is very high I think. Can someone please give me some advice?
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (23 July 2007):
 Genetic counseling definitely should be sought before you have a child with your cousin. Tell your mom what is going on, she's bound to find out sooner or later anyway.
A
female
reader, LauraE  +, writes (23 July 2007):
Hi,
You are half cousins (I think) - ie you have one grandparent in common, whereas you would have 2 grandparents in common if your mum and his dad were full brother and sister. I honestly don't know how much risk there is in this degree of relatedness. If you are uncomfortable about having a baby, then you definitely shouldn't. If you do want one, I would have a word with your doctor pretty soon. As to telling your mum, if you are staying together, then you have to tell her. As yummy mummy says, better coming from you than someone else. But find out about the medical implications of children first, and decide what you intend to do about it. Then you will be able to answer the one question which she is absolutely bound to ask you.
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (22 July 2007):
 So you are not blood related? I don't see an issue of you both being together a problem. I wouldn't keep it from your mum for too long if other people know as she is bound to find out. It will be better coming from you then someone else.
I would sit and chat with your boyfriend about your fears of having a baby and see if he has the same of different ones aswell.
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