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age
30-35,
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writes: Hi guys. I have a very sweet, sincere and over-all nice boyfriend that I've been dating since last November. We immediately had a great connection, and I've only once caught him in a lie and it was utterly petty. Recently, I've come to think maybe he's being a little too honest. We had broken up for a few weeks after about a month of being together, and apparently he met this girl that he found absolutely gorgeous. We hung out once while he and I were just friends and he (out of NOWHERE) began to talk about this girl he'd met and how pretty she was. Sarcastically, thinking he was trying to piss me off, I was like "yeah, wow, she must have been really gorgeous" and he said in response "yeah, but like MODEL hot". Well, long story short- we got back together. I asked him about the girl.. why he'd brought her up (he swears he doesn't know how or why he started talking about her and that it wasn't to make me jealous, and sadly, I believe him) and as it turns out, he tried asking her on a date and she turned him down. I made the biggest mistake ever and asked if she was prettier than me and he said yes. I can't seem to get over this. We are in love, and he says if he had a choice over me or her now, he would pick me... hands down. Still though, how can he find her more attractive if he's in love with me? Should I be worried? P.S. He said she isn't his "type" because she doesn't have tattoos and piercings, which makes me think he only likes me for superficial reasons as well. The girl looks like barbie without the platinum hair and honestly, other than her boobs and over-done make-up, she isn't that "hot", so I feel like I've been slapped in the face. These were his words exactly "well.. she looks like 'model-hot'" when I asked what level of "hot" i fit into, he replied with "I dunno.. grunge?" He definitely lost cool points for this.
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male
reader, Fatherly Advice  + ♥, writes (20 June 2010):
 "supposedly" ???
Looks like your relationship needs more trust. You are unable to fully believe that his feelings are similar to yours. At his age he is still highly influenced by social and media pressure. With age and (mostly) experience he will out grow all that. He will also learn not to tell you when he notices an attractive girl.
What he said and the fact that he asked her for a date, has aroused your jealousy. You are still young in the relationship and not sure enough of him to take that easily. The good news is that he is comfortable with you and truss you. If he was really shopping he would not have told you about it.
FA
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm very well aware that there are far prettier girls than me, but I honestly love him to the point that if I could choose him or my "ideal" hot guy, I would stay with him. I told him where I was coming from and that I guess I actually meant is he more "attracted to" not whether they are more attractive than me, and he told me exactly what I wanted to hear, which is that yes, there are more attractive girls, but no, he does not want to be with any of them.... supposedly....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2010): believe me, underneath all the makeup, dyed hair, e.t.c, she could be very plain looking !!. Any woman can look attractive with makeup and hair dye !. looks arent everything anyway. oh, and the women who look like models are usually the ones who are big headed and self centred !!. I'm sure men would really prefer to be with someone who is trustworthy, polite, down to earth and genuine !.i once heard that men only go after the " hot " women for sexual reasons, but in reality, they wouldnt want to actually be in a relationship with them.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice + ♥, writes (14 June 2010):
OK so you asked a question that no matter what he said he would have been in trouble with you. Why do girls do that? If he had said you were prettier you would have "caught him in a lie". When he tells you why he likes you better he is shallow.
Usually I like to toss in some advice but I don't know what to say. If you don't want to know don't ask.
FA
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A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (14 June 2010):
 It appears you might be over-thinking this. It's silly of him to say she's prettier than you, of course, but looks isn't the only thing men see in us. Are you happy and secure in your relationship apart from this? Or is he generally only drawn to superficialities?
A lot of men have had a 'past crush' who, in their minds, represents the gold standard which no one else can attain. It should not affect their relationships later in life. Men are (usually) intelligent enough to love women for the right reasons - which do not have much to do with looks.
Besides, there will always be someone hotter than you, y'know - just there will always be someone stronger than, richer than, or more intelligent than you. Why should that affect what seems to otherwise be a happy relationship?
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