A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi I am with my bf he’s frum Dublin I feel like she is trying to keep him away frum me she is only 10 I feel like I’m in the middle between me and his daughter she’s kinda annoying I just want to be with him not his kids. I don’t know what to do Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (2 July 2023):
 If he's a decent man, his child(ren) will always be No 1 priority. Would you really want to be with someone who side-lined his child(ren) every time a new bit of skirt came along?
I find it ironic that you expect more adult behaviour from a 10 year old child than you are prepared to bring to the table as an adult.
My partner has a daughter and, although I don't have much to do with her myself, I always understand when he drops everything and goes to help her with something. She is nearly 30. It never changes. If you are not prepared to allow him to father his child, you need to find someone to date who does not have that responsibility.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (1 July 2023):
 She should be his priority, #1, not you. Sorry.
And she is 10, so yeah probably annoying.
If you can't handle him having a kiddo, date someone WITHOUT kids.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek + ♥, writes (30 June 2023):
 Put yourself in the girl's place. She's 10 so she isn't mature and doesn't reason like an adult. She sees you as a threat. You are taking her dad's time. Surely you can see that right? Children are very protective of their parents! I remember how confused and angry I was when my mom started dating after my dad died. I was in my 50's! Try to be her friend..someone that she can feel comfortable with and perhaps you can gain her trust.
A good parent is ALWAYS going to put their child first.That's the way it should be. If you are not comfortable, I strongly suggest you don't someone with children. I stopped dating men when I was single if my child didn't like them or acted strangely. The man that won my heart and my daughter's (4 year old at the time) actually wooed her more than me! I loved it! He made her top priority and she knew it. Please understand it from a kid's view if you can. She's threatened and scared right now.
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A
female
reader, TryingToBeFree2023 +, writes (29 June 2023):
 Of course she's trying to keep him away from you and good for her! That's her daddy you're messing with, you're cutting into time, money, and attention thats rightfully hers. If you're dating someone and not their kids or family, then you're dating just for sex and that's all. If you're not going to get serious and settle down with him and be a step mom, it's just sex. Meet him when she's at a friend's house and talk to him when she's in bed. She's 10. She's probably capable of many things independently but as soon as the attention is off of her, she probably turns helpless. She probably "interrupts" when you're talking to put the attention where it belongs-on her. You sound really selfish and immature.
I came here to be kind and helpful but someone like you doesn't deserve kind and helpful, you deserve a harsh wake up call. Don't date a person with kids then.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2023): First of you know he has a daughter. You know she is only 10 . Can you remember how being 10 felt . She not coming between you both . That's you projecting your insecurity onto a child who needs and loves her dad . If you at 35 can't see that then you need to move on . They are not separate. They are a unit and you need to be prepared to either belong to that unit and share the love or as I said move on .
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2023): Unfortunately when you get in to a relationship with someone who has a child, the child will come first. It’s unreasonable that you expect his kids not to be around.
I get how annoying children can be - I don’t have any & never will.
I’ve dated men with children but it wasn’t the right thing for me. I got on well with them but I didn’t want the responsibility or having to be around them a lot. You learn from your mistakes.
I’d find myself someone with no children or someone with older kids who don’t demand much attention from their dad.
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