A
female
age
36-40,
*wisted mind
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for some time now and he doesn't eat my box. He says it's not his thing what should I do???? when that is one of my favorites like almost can't live without it and it's driving me nuts...
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 March 2013):
 If you can’t live without receiving oral and he won’t provide oral to you, then you have a sexual compatibility issue that cannot be resolved. Sadly the only way to fix this is for you to leave him.
While the suggestions made by the female anonymous poster about teaching her boyfriend to do it may work for some, it would not work in my home. And to be honest if the roles were reversed and you did not want to give blow jobs to him would a person suggesting how to teach you to give him blow jobs be received as well? I think not.
Nowhere is it written a person must perform oral sex on their partner. Many do. Some do not.
I love my husband, but from day one he told me “I can’t/won’t/don’t give oral”. I accepted this. I still accept this and I respect this limitation of his. It’s not that he doesn’t want to, he’s tried, he gags and throws up. It’s not me I’m clean. I have almost no odor to the normal average person but my husband has a hyper sense of smell and taste. It’s a mental thing for him. Trying to “teach him” or force him to do it is disrespectful in my opinion. He told me that this was the way it was from the get go. I tell him how much I miss it now and again but it makes him feel bad. He knows it’s an accepted common practice and he wishes he could do it for me but he can’t. I do miss it. A LOT.
If he won’t/can’t do it, you can’t train him or force him or trick him. You have three options
1. Learn to live without it.
2. Leave him
3. Ask him if you can take a lover to provide this activity for you (my husband has asked me if I want to get a woman to play with for this but it would mean he gets to play with her too and I’m not sharing in this marriage)
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (5 March 2013):
 Yeah, that's a sexual compatibility issue. Trust me, if he's absolutely closed-minded to it, there's not much you can do except leave him for someone a lot more inviting of it. And trust me, there are some guys who not only love to do it, but will go South, pitch a tent, stay all night, and go for seconds and thirds. The very process of sending you into ecstasy lights up those type of guys, and if you find one, it's truly amazing.
You'll have to decide whether or not you can live without it, especially if he's expecting you to give him oral sex but not reciprocating, which I personally don't go for in any relationship I've ever been in.
I think you need to communicate to him if you're not having an orgasm through sex with him. It's not common for PIV (penis-in-vagina) intercourse to cause orgasm. Many men don't realize or want to hear that the penis isn't usually *the* sexual instrument of pleasure. Don't fake things with him. Tell him what's what, and if he doesn't like oral, he needs to be open to doing things that cause orgasm in you, not simply to cause you to fake it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2013): My BF was like this and he used every excuse in the book... Including "Men aren't suppose to do it" "Women don't need to come" You name it he used it.
He kissed and nuzzled my P***y once or twice over some thin leggings but it took me 15 months for him the actually go down on me, that was almost 2 years ago and now he loves it.
If he says about the smell and that he doesn't like it then do what I did, go for a shower then do it very soon after. I still do this and it's the only way that he will go down on me and asking to be clean is not a big deal at all if that all that hes asking.
And if its the taste shower and use flavored lube.
Make sure you have an answer for everything. Their is not reason for him not to try.If someone tries then you cant ask no more. If
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (5 March 2013):
 I agree with Cerberus on this one. Some men aren't down with it. Perhaps you can work with him on it -- there may be something that bothers him about it that you can help mitigate (i.e. being squeaky clean down there).
You shouldn't force your boyfriend to do this if it isn't his cup of tea. He'll resent you for it and probably do a lousy job as well. If you hold back sex in hopes of getting it, you'll wind up cheating yourself of any sort of sexual activity -- and again you will foster more distance in your relationship.
You may have to ask yourself if he is worth the sacrifice, as it sounds like he isn't going to budge on this. You may have to live without oral sex for the lifetime of your relationship or this could be a deal breaker.
Eddie
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2013): It's not his thing, you can't live without it, therefore you and he are not sexually compatible.
It's important OP and honestly, you've gone this long without him changing his mind, he's not really going to.
You could try dental dams, flavoured lube etc. see if he'll do it with those. If not then you have to live with it.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (5 March 2013):
 Ahhhh yes. God I love the taste of a dripping wet pussy.
Oh wait, you wanted advice...
What should you do? Well, if you've talked to him about it, and explained how much you like it, and he's still refusing, then the choice becomes simple. Do you live without, or do you leave to find someone you're more sexually compatible with? As someone who spent 3 years living without, I can tell you it builds a sense of resentment, even when you try for it not to. I'm resolved that it's best to find someone who's sexual desires more closely match your own for continued happiness in a relationship. Sex is a big part of a LTR, so you need to decide what you really want.
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