A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi There,I wanted to get some advise from anyone who might have been in my position. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years, and we have always had a fairly normal and active sex life. We've never been very experimental before, but he's recently suggested trying some new things out, introducing toys and dressing up. He admitted to having a thing about latex and wanted to buy some things to try out together.It's not that I would have any issues with trying new things out, but I am worried about the implications it might have on our relationship. On one hand it might make us closer, but I am worried that it might make me feel weird towards him. I feel like when you are in a very close and emotional relationship together it might be more difficult to just be normal again afterwards. From things I've watched online I find it very hard to imagine any of them having a cuddle afterwards...Essentially my question is did your relationship change after you tried out new things in the bedroom? XxX
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female
reader, largentsgirl89  +, writes (8 August 2013):
 My bf and I have been together for four years and we spiced things up a little bit about two years in and it made us closer. When I was able to express myself to him sexually and experiment with him and trust him completely, it took our relationship to a whole new level.
Just make sure you have that level of trust with him. Sometimes our experiments are hot and other times we are kind of awkward and end up laughing together in the middle of sex. But it's never awkward afterwards.
Of course people in porn don't cuddle afterwards. They are having sex with that person for money, not for love, money. You can go full on BDSM with a guy and cuddle with him afterwards and discuss what you liked, what you didn't like and new things you want to try.
Be open and honest. Don't do anything that you don't want to do. Have fun!!!
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (8 August 2013):
 Well, if the sex was good then it changes things for the better! It turns into a fun little dirty secret that you can share.
I mean, sharing these intimate details with you is a pretty big deal. It takes a lot of trust to reveal these inner fantasies, and it could bring you a lot closer together if you can do them together. That's not to say that I think you should do something that you aren't into - never do something that makes you feel bad or uncomfortable. If it pushes your comfort zone boundaries a little bit, that's different. Give it a try. (I mean, eating feta pushed my comfort zone boundaries, but I tried it and feta is flippin' delicious.) But if your sexual activity makes you feel downright icky, don't do it.
In the 8 years that I've been with my guy, we've done some pretty weird stuff. And I wouldn't say it made things weird between us. Maybe after the first time, I was like ".... huh.", but it got fun for me because it was so fun for him!
I don't want to say that things changing for the worse isn't a possibility, if what he's into really, really grosses you out, or if he turns into a total scumbag when he does this stuff... but if you stay in a safety zone, and show respect for each other while having fun, I think you'll be fine.
And maybe you don't cuddle right away afterwards, but that's not to say that after it's done you can't be tender or have a good laugh, or make a sandwich all while sharing some sexy winks - because now you two have a sexy little secret. And maybe cuddling is exactly what you'll do! Who knows?
Dressing up can be a good time, as can toys. Maybe you will discover a new side of yourself, or maybe you will come up with ideas of your own! Being experimental and a little wild in the bedroom is totally healthy and fun in any relationship.
Good luck! :)
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A
female
reader, newbern +, writes (8 August 2013):
I can understand your reluctance.
I went through exactly the same feelings years ago with my b/f. However, don't be afraid, you may discover a brand new world and it doesn't have to be weird or extreme or cringeworthy stuff like mask etc :-)
Using a nice dildo may do exactly that: spice things up, it may even increase his passion and, in turn, benefit you.
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