A
female
age
36-40,
*heryl9245
writes:okay.. so im 22 years old.. ive been with my boyfriend for a year and a bit now.. lately he hasnt been able to last that long but during the starting of our relationship even up till about 3 or 4 months ago he was able to last longer and we did it a lot more.. now im lucky if we make love twice a week.. he tells me he cant last long cuz he gets to excited from the noises i make so to test it i made less noise but it still lasted about the same amount of time.. now when we are in a fight and i ask why he doesnt touch me anymore (have sex) he says its because its boring, that sex with the same person after a year gets dull and boring and that he just wants to get it over with and that i need to try new things.. now im a shy girl and not into super kinky but im willing to take some advice to "try something new" within reason.. now i know he says its boring just to make me upset what guy doesnt but id like to get some help on how to make things new and fresh..plz plz help..
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  + ♥, writes (16 February 2010):
 Fighting is not going to get anybody in the mood. In fact it is a sign that the relationship is broken. There is almost always more than one side to a story. Perhaps your resentment at his performance is showing. That will put him off.
I sense that you are still not convinced. And I still smell a bad fish. Keep looking, at both sides.
FA
A
female
reader, cheryl9245 +, writes (16 February 2010):
cheryl9245 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthnk u very much for your input it has helped alot..the situation is still about the same but im workin on finding out why it is hes avoiding having sex..he says part of not wanting to is bcuz we fight..he says that the time before we have sex makes the actuall sex un enjoyable..now i dont htink thats a good enuf excuse but for now thats whats being said but im still working on the issues..
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice + ♥, writes (11 February 2010):
One more thing for general consumption (not just as an answer to Cheryl. I've been having sex with the same woman for over 20 years now and this year has been the most exciting. I don't buy that he is too excited to last long and bored with you as well.
Some things you should do. Check his porn usage. Look around for signs of another woman. Don't worry him about lasting long enough, you are dealing with a fragile male ego here, stress will make it worse. Ask him to spend more time on foreplay. Mix it up. Surprise him.
If you want to get a book for ideas, I recommend Ride 'em Cowgirl You can order it from amazon and save embarrassment. It was gentle enough for my mostly proper wife to use. Well suited to a shy beginner. Feel free to ask follow up questions.
FA
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A
female
reader, rgreen120  +, writes (10 February 2010):
 If a guy didnt last long with me, i would think this was because i was too 'sexy' for him. or he just enjoys it too much? I wouldnt say it was because he didnt want it. A lot of people may find sex getting a little dull after time if there is no experimentation. You dont have to be 'super kinky' to try new things! Maybe just invest in a Karma Sutra? To try different positions, buy new underwear? With valentines day coming up, its a great opportunity to get some sexy underwear or maybe just some different lubrications that feel different? You cant just have a look round www.annsummers.com and see if anything takes your fancy. You can buy books on how to please your man and what you can do to spice things up. You can try food play, role play and different settings/areas to have sex?
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