A
female
age
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*unshinenbutterflys
writes:I have been dating a man for 1 1/2 years now. We have become best friends and now have fallen in love. We talk about living together for many reasons, first of all because we love each other and we spend so much time together. Secondly, financially it would help us both out very much. He has a daughter who lives away at college and is in her last year. She comes to his home to stay and visit and her bedroom is the same as it was when she lived at home over 3 years ago. My man knew that I was a package deal when we met. I have a son who will be 18 in a few months. My boyfriend does not want me to live with him until my son is out of the home. He is not welcome to live at my boyfriends house. They get a long great and my son respects my boyfriend, but I think the biggest issue with my son living there is because he thinks it might upset his daughter. He even told me a couple nights ago that his daughter was better than my son. I am floored and upset and hurt. My son is a good kid, not a trouble maker, but is also a typical 17 year old boy. It would hurt him terrible if he knew my boyfriend felt like this. I have always been welcoming to his daughter and have treated her well. I don't like the comments he has made about his daughter being better...and I am wondering if it is time to let go of this guy knowing how he feels about my son. Please advise....I need some help
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female
reader, Sunshinenbutterflys +, writes (8 July 2010):
Sunshinenbutterflys is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI want to thank all of you who sent your opinion to me. I value your thoughts on the matter. I guess I knew these things when I ask for help...but maybe I needed to have someone else tell me. It was very hurtful when he made the comment on his daughter being better...I also thought..think that if you want, but to say it out loud to me was disrespectful to me. There was no thought put into that when he said it obviously. It has come to the point where he is taking the relationship for granted...and we all know that that is the one thing you do not do in a relationship....Never take it for granted! Thank you so much..I truly appreciate what you wrote.
A
female
reader, pepper27  +, writes (6 July 2010):
 I second that marriedlady that was my first reaction..
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2010): run for the hills. My mom remarried at age 54. He was so nice to us all. From the moment they married we havent been welcome. In 8 years ive been invited to their home once. His daughters live near them, drop by daily. I am married, happy, have 7 decent well behaved children. Which makes me an object of pity and a failure. HIS daughters have high paying jobs, and are either single or have one child. I could go on for hours, but just take a hard second look at him. I see a huge red flag. Mal
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2010): Well duh his daughter will be more important to him as your son is too you but actually saying it out loud? that is a total jerk thing to do and you need to confront him and warn him not to make remarks like that again. You do not want a man who resents your child.
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (6 July 2010):
Why would you want to be with a man who disrespects you and your son so much? What if your son is ill, or loses his job and has to come home? What if he wants to visit? And how shocking to claim that his daughter is better. I know this guy will block your son from everything if you continue to have him in your life. You'll end up not even being able to meet him outside your house, let alone in it. Meanwhile, you'll get to see him as he spoils his daughter and gives her everything. I just don't think you should be with a man who cares so little for you and your son.
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female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (6 July 2010):
Hi Hunny
First of all pfffffffffff!!!!! How dare he make judgments about your family this way, Ooooh that made me really angry..
It just makes me boil when people say others are better than so n so, Better at what? We all have a place and a purpose.
Anyway I should be helping you not getting all cross.
You say this guy is your best friend, I dont think a best friend would say such mean things Infact a best friend should be there for you no matter what, And if he does not want your son to move in then why is he even talking about it. He knows your situation and he must surely no you are not going to boot your son to one side to move in with him..If he has made it clear to you that he feels his daughter is as he said better than your son then hunny I feel he needs to grow up and you need to think if this is what you really want. Message me if you need a chat PLEASE TAKE CARE WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXX
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