A
female
age
30-35,
*eathSavesLives
writes:I have been in a realtionship with my boyfriend for about a year and a half. We are both very committed to one another and I don't suspect that he would ever cheat on me, but I still have some overwhelming feelings of jealousy. My bf often stays over at his friend's house, and this guy has four sisters. One of which my bf used to have feelings for. He has told me that one of these sisters slapped his butt while he was there, despite the knowledge of our relationship.I have no idea what to do!
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male
reader, JustynR. +, writes (26 March 2008):
Well I'm the boyfreind. lol. i am 16 and she is 15 almost 16. I love you dearly and i promise to not let anything happen. I take care to make sure i am where the sisters are not. If i could take you with me i would in a heart beat, but sadly your doedoe parents won't allow. i love you more than life it self, and i hope you don't mistrust me while i'm gone. i would only stay days, but alas they live 23 miles away...
A
female
reader, DeathSavesLives +, writes (25 March 2008):
DeathSavesLives is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks again, I'm sure you're right. I obviously have a very active imagination, because the thought of it doesn't let me sleep! It really isn't his problem I guess. Everyone has demons, I guess jealousy is mine! XD
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2008): If he says nothing will happen, then you will have to "trust" him. Just don't change the way you act towards him, continue to be yourself and work towards not letting this bother you.
In the mean time, I'm sure some form of reassurance would help you. If you think of anything that he could do, like give you a call, let him know. Though he may feel your being overly reactive to this, he should at least try to provide some comfort to you so you won't be concerned and worried. Sometimes a partner may seem needy, if we don't tackle that and provide comfort, it could get out of hand. Again, your both are suppose to be a couple, and though your both young, the quicker you both learn responsibilities to each other, such as "acceptance, trust, compassion, caring, supportive", the more fantastic the relationship will feel.
I recall being 18-21, I was still wild, and my girlfriend was ready to settle down. It takes time, and doing things together that still provide the same excitement helps. If your boyfriend and his friend are like my son, they are hanging out to probably play electronic/computer type games. If this is the case, the sister's probably arent a threat at all, but they both have to much time on there hand, like my son and his friends.
Sorry I rattled on. Sometimes, we just need to let people stay there course and figure it out themselves, doing otherwise, they feel controlled, which isn't a good thing.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, DeathSavesLives +, writes (25 March 2008):
DeathSavesLives is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you LonelyTwo! This helps me alot, especially from another man. Most of the guys I've talked to think that it's rediculous to be jealous.
I've talked to him about how I feel and he understands... but he is still seeing this friend. He fervently assures me that he won't let anything happen, but I still feel the same. Should I ask him to stop going?
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (24 March 2008):
 My big question would be WHY does he stay over at his friend's house? I mean isn't he a little old for sleepovers?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2008): Though innocent it may appear on the surface, being human, these things could lead in a direction not intended.
I believe, and I maybe old fashion, that when you date as an exclusive couple or even married, certain activities need to stop, or both partners be bound at the hip when they go to events; when possible.
Though we all feel we are strong to avoid such a thing, were all suseptible to temptations when the conditions are right and least expected.
You need to express to him how you feel, that just as man fears what other men will take advantage of a woman, that you fear women (the sisters) taking advantage of him.
You both will have to compromise to some degree. Consider this a test for the future, if it doesn't go well, then this will possibly be repeated in the future.
Hope this helps, or at least gives you some thought on how to handle it.
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