A
female
age
41-50,
*atalieWisconsin
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating long-distance for eight months. We're finally going to be living in the same city. We're both in our 30's and haven't had sex with each other yet. He wasn't bringing it up, so when I finally did, he said, "We can have sex if you want." I told him that upset me, and that he should really want it, and after all these months, it should be killing him that we haven't had sex. He says he's just not a very sexual person, that it's not a top priority for him. When we're together, there's a lot of affection, and plenty of oral sex for both of us, and he treats me like a queen. But is this normal? Is it a relationship deal breaker?
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2010): Could be an errection issue....sometimes when guys are expected to perform (no real performance in oral sex) they can't keep it up......so they avoid it... get him some cialis :D
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2010): I am 28 and I am not a sexual person at all. Personally I could live without it. But if there is affection and oral then he obviously is into you. Don't worry.
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A
male
reader, Griffo  +, writes (18 June 2010):
 Yeah, this is basically him saying that he loves you. He wants you to know he wants you for who you are. You are his best friend, his soulmate it's deeper than a sexual urge his in euphoria just being with you and that is the best love you can have. On the other hand he could also be worried about pregnancy.
But don't worry I'm sure he deffinatley wants it. Try this: if your giving him oral make sure your ready beforehand and then try getting on top of him. don't get upset if he pushes you away it could just be he's worried about pregnancy, some blokes freak about that.
The best way I happens is when it's unexpected.
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A
male
reader, involuntary virg +, writes (18 June 2010):
Ok, what am I missing here? You say when you're together you have "plenty of oral sex for both of us" but you say he is not "a sexual person." Seems sexual to me....
If it's the lack of I/C you are referring to, then I would think the primary concern for most guys is risking pregnancy even though modern contraceptive practices may be employed. Every guy has heard the failed contraceptive/unexpected pregnancy story and doesn't want it to happen to them.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (18 June 2010):
 You guys never talk about sex before you actually met up? As in, this is news to you? (that he isn't "that" sexual)
Personally I do find it a little odd for a guy in his early 30's. I don't think I have ever met a guy that wasn't "into" sex. Maybe he was nervous?
Is it a deal breaker? I don't know I think only you can figure that one out.
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