A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend lives with his family (mother and sister) and everyone has to pay rent at their house. He recently had a birthday, took a week off, but requested vacation time. They didn't give him that, so he was unable to come up with his half of the rent. So then, his mothers pays his half, but left her in debt. It was a honest mistake, but now his mother and him aren't getting along. He paid her back, but she is still mad at him, and he has become depress about his living situation. I offered him money, a place to stay, but he doesn't want a dime from me. And he says we haven't been dating that long to be moving in together, but i don't want to see him hurting. He is independent and kinda stubborn...so how do i comfort him? He is the type to want to be alone and stay bottled up and figure out things on his own. When i am depress or stressed out...i always go to my family, my friends, or my boyfriend for comfort. But just now... my boyfriend asked if we can just remain friends for now because he is stressed out. I just don't understand why he pushing me away when I'm trying to help him. I'm sure we will get back together but at the same time...i don't want to take him back if he just breaks up with me if he's stressed out! What happens in the future when he can't figure out his problems and dumps me again?I get stressed out every other day and I never vent it to him or make it effect our relationship!I need advice... if you don't have anything positive to say then please don't say anything! I am hurting and confused so i just need to know what to do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you both!
A
male
reader, glory_b  +, writes (8 January 2009):
You have a big heart.Try letting him come to you first. Maybe he just wants some one to listen. When he's ready he'll open up. Until then, you've made a kindly offer and he's refused. That means you've done as much as you can.You can't help someone who hasn't asked for it. Wait him out. I've seen many girls let their anxiety build, and go on the attack when boyfriends do this. Just wait, let him think a little. If he's smart he'll realize he acted rashly, and he'll come back. Then after you two are back and stable, you can give him hell for dumping you.
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