A
female
age
30-35,
*um2two
writes:My husband gets on Facebook and Ive noticed he's being a little to friendly to the girls. And I'm getting worried should I talk to him the demand access. To his page or keep sneaking on waiting for when he might mess up ive even thought about making one and doing the same thing but that's immature . Idk it's 8:38am been up since 2 am reading his messages and I want to call him now at work and let him have it. Please what do I do?!!!!!!!! Mum2two
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female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (19 March 2012):
 I am pretty sure in the not too distant future that facebook and other social network sites will become the biggest contributors to the break up of established relationships and divorce.
Most people who fool around on them with others aside from their partners seem to develop a protective shield between them and their moral compass and common human decency. It's all too easy to dismiss the distress that this type of contact does to their partners and it can all be wiped at the click of a button.
The outcome of your conversation with your husband depends entirely on what kind of a person he is and how solid your relationship is.
If he's a decent guy who loves you, then he can probably be pursueded to stop the behaviour immediately as he will know and understand that it's causing you pain.
If he's a little unsure of your marriage or a little bored or isnt the kind of man to really consider your feelings then he will probably continue.
The best you can do is to let him know you have seen what he is doing and tell him directly that it is hurting you. If he persist or starts showing secretive and avoidance behaviour then i think you might have a bigger problem on your hands. Either way you need to confront him and see which way he goes. The bottom line is that, however innocent the chat might be...he should not be doing it because it shows lack of respect to you and your shared relationship.
You are right to not make another account and start doing the same (although I am sure it's tempting to teach him a lesson), two wrongs don't make a right and he would make you feel a lot worse about doing such a thing...believe me.
Let the only crime be his, confront him and see how he handles it...you may be surprised.
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (19 March 2012):
 I think you need to talk to him when he gets home (not while he is at work) and explain that you have seen these messages and you are unahppy with his behaviour. There is no point in playing games by setting up an account and doing the same to him, or sneaking around - be grown up about this and simply tell him you have seen the messages and it is not acceptable behaviour.
Perhaps the best thing to do for both of you would be to delete your facebook accounts, so neither of you have them - that way it is fair on both of you, and you will feel safe in the knowledge he cannot be chatting to girls online.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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