A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend has covid and is quarantined alone, at first he was asymptomatic but symptoms started to come and hes been feeling really bad. I know hes been sleeping most the day but wevejust been FaceTiming at night. Tuesday we got in a small disagreement about him not replying but after that everything was fine it was just me being anxious and he said he understood and wasn’t mad. Wednesday we talked very briefly on the phone once and he said he was feeling really bad. This was around 3 pm Wednesday and I haven t heard from him since. I keep calling and texting but nothing. I even texted his mom but she said he will be fine that hes just really sick and too tired. Im worried honestly. He never goes this long without checking in or calling back. I dont know if it has to do with Just me or what. I have bad anxiety and just started a new medication for it so Side effects have had my anxiety up. Maybe Im overthinking and everything is okay with him or us or not. He was on social media this morning so I know he’s okay but I don’t understand what’s going on. Should I worry?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2020): My son had covid.It floors you.Do not even be mad if it is a week or two that you do not hear from him.He is in bed struggling to breathe leave him be.He does not need drama when he is so sick so just stop that.You could send stuff like chicken soup a fruit bouquet of flowers but do not go there.This covid is very contagious.He is still on inhalers...my son.My son will be on them probably forever due to the lung damage covid caused.So I am only gonna tell you this because you do not get it.Leave him alone right now he is more sick than you know and stressing him about not texting you right now is selfish.If he breaks up with you after this I would not be surprised.Stop being selfish.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2020): When I’m ill - the LAST thing I want to do is talk to anyone. Especially someone who is demanding all my time and moaning at me for not replying to messages all the time. Maybe he does want to talk to people (hence going on social media) - but maybe he doesn’t want to talk to YOU right now. Maybe it’s not personal. Partners take up a lot of time and energy for everyone. Sometimes you just need a break from them especially when you are ill. You have different needs and wants from him then say just a friend. More effort goes into you. When your I’ll that can be hard to manage for some people. Maybe he needs a break and some time to himself to get better before he is willing. However, you nagging, moaning at him, constantly messaging him and his family is going to make him NOT want to talk to you more. He will retreat even more into his cave. Respect his needs and leave him alone for a while. I understand your anxiety is bad (go to the doctor and change medication if you can) - but you are making this worse. Give him some space to get better and a bit of a break. He will love you for it as men do tend to need more space from their partners then females. Plus he knows he probably won’t be good company for you at the minute anyway. He will be grumpy, not have much to say and just complain about feeling bad. Men don’t talk as much as women. He will contact you when he’s ready.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2020): He probably feels awful. Leave the guy alone to get some rest and get better. You can send him one message a day to check up on him but don't hound the poor guy with loads of messages and phone calls. If his mum is checking up on him then leave him to it until he is feeling up to talking with you again. I hope he gets well soon.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2020): He probably feels miserable, and needs sleep and some time alone. His mom told you he's resting, and that should be enough. Coronavirus tends to attack the lungs; so there's shortness of breath. Difficulty breathing is one of the symptoms, aside from fever and weakness.
If you've ever had a virus or flu; chit-chatting and texting is not a priority when you're dealing with fever, malaise, sweating, and fuzzy-thoughts. You're hardly in the mood for socializing!
He's not feeling particularly romantic at the moment; as you can understand. You are kind of making this about you. I think his family will be doing frequent wellness-checks, and will keep you updated. Mothers don't seem to forget they have sick children; especially when they're seriously ill. They stay pretty close, and get special-access; because they're your mother! Others can wait.
He just doesn't feel like being bothered. When you don't feel well; yes, it is bothersome to keep informing everyone how you feel! He is ill right-now. I'm sure you've got plenty to do to keep you busy in the meantime. Worry seldom helps anything.
He'll contact you when he feels up to it. If his family feels there's any urgency, they'll do whatever necessary; and I'm certain they'll let you know if anything goes wrong. If his mother knew how he's doing; it's because she's keeping a close-eye on him. What she told you should have been enough.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (6 October 2020):
 Sounds like he is using being sick to avoiding you and perhaps get a little peace and quiet.
He might FEEL you are too clingy and demanding and he just doesn't have the energy or perhaps inclination to feed your anxiety.
His mom said he was fine, he was on social media so you KNOW he is fine, LET him rest and recoup.
Find other things for you to do other than worry about him.
The likelihood of him getting seriously ill is low, VERY low (unless he has a compromised immune system, is overweight, or is over 50) according to CDC's statistics.
Maybe he just doesn't have much to talk about as NOTHING is going on in his life at the moment (other than being sick) and maybe that subject is boring to rehash.
He can't fix your anxiety. You need to work on that. I hope your doctor didn't just give you meds without a referral to some counseling.
For now FOCUS on you, he is "busy feeling like crap". He KNOWS you care. He KNOWS you worry. Could be that it is a little overwhelming to try and get batter PLUS soothe your anxiety.
Remember you have NO control over him, you have no control over Covid or whatever may happen. More contact will not help him get well sooner. Worrying about thing that are 100% out of your control is unhealthy. (I do it myself and have to seriously stop myself from letting the thoughts of doom and gloom take over, but it IS possible to BE in control of your worrying and thus your anxiety. It's not easy. It takes work, and a GOOD counselor can help you with the "tools" to be better at it, it's NOT your BF's job yo do that for you.
While it is VERY sweet that you worry and care for him, some people when they are sick they just don't want to DEAL with other people or be fussed over, they just want peace and quiet and to sleep as much as they want.
If I were you I'd leave him a little message in the morning, telling him you hope he is feeling better and that you miss him (whatnot). If he doesn't reply to that over the course of the day, don't text, e-mail, call again until NEXT morning and in the meantime focus on what YOU got to do in your own life.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2020): This has a lot more to do with your anxiety, lack of confidence and your disagreement. You are worried he has lost interest in you. You regularly poke him with a stick when you get impatient to hear from him, when that does not work you get worried, anxious and feel dumped.
This is not about him having the virus, you are just using that as an excuse, because it sounds better than saying that you regularly prod him when he is too slow to respond.
You know something - you are very demanding and insecure. It puts men off. If the man is also feeling ill he will say to himself that he will concentrate on less demanding needy people or just lay low and be on his own for a bit.
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