| A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I have been with my lad for a bout 9 months now, my longest relationship ever. I pratically lost my virginity to my current I have little experience. I've suggested things, would like to try things but it never works out. He comes too quickly exercises don't work from what he has told me. I've nagged him to swim but he seems to have stopped. (did point out it helped but nothing.)Also 4 months ago found out my aunt has a brain tumor so I didn't really want to be fussed I hate fuss, I don't want to be cuddled I want to rant out and shout, when I'm upset I get angry not teary. I never targeted it at my boyfiend, he knew I was stressed with stuff and then he asked me four times in the same week if I was going to leave him. I am not allowed to have an off day with him because he thinks I'm going to leave him.My grandad has died recently, I had an anxiety attack because I hadn't mourned the paramedic told me I need to grieve not just hold back. I did so put it aside as it were to not upset my dad keep things smoothish at home and because I can't get upset because my boyfriend assumes I'm leaving him and wells up with tears. I am tired of having to watch what I say to him!He then nags how unhappy he is with home, he's 21 and lives with his mum, never has had uni life whereas I start properly in Septemebr just finishing my btec diploma. I am fully dedicated work 10 hours a day at uni and not counting the work I do at home. Then he goes in for an hour or two for a lecture goes home at 1 and whines he has a rough day. I am nagging him to revise more told him otherwise he will fail. He wanted to drop out second year into his course I told him he would be a total idiot for doing so. He started uni he should finish it.It's hypocritical of him to whine hes worred of failure when he won't revise! I am sick of talking to him right now and hve asked for space because I can't cope with it. My deadlines are coming in 2 weeks his aren't for another two months. He seems to not get this and demands to see me, I say I want space, he says I'm distant then I have to explain myself.I am so fed up with it all. I told my boyfriend if he can't chill out and leave me alone without getting upset then we need space until after ou exams. It's not like I'm not talking to him because I am but when I see him and he's cuddling me all the time and trying to talk and see me all the time it just makes me want to scream. I think I love him still but he's driving me to distraction right now.I enjoy not seeing him because it's more fun, I love having separate places and things to hideaway too.I went for a girly night on sat at my mate's house because she knows I'm stressed and said she was going to pamper me, massage my back give me a facial that kinda thing, he wanted to tag along! I told him a week before and he asked if he could come. This annoyed me to bits! I told him that and he said he had just missed me cause he hadn't seen me that week and then when he asked me if I was free this weekend I told him I wanted to see my friend who I haven't seen for two months, he knows that. I returned with I don't tell you off for seeing your mates when your upset do I? Then he wouldn't speak to me for like a day.I'm tired of his indecisive unamibtious bubble wrap behaviour. I hate feeling like I'm treading on eggshells.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2009): Wow...
and your question is...
Ok i will guess the question - its either the blue top question or should i dump the fool for not being what you deserve or need?
I will answer to both: The blue top is fine and Yes - sounds like you need some time apart...
Star.x.
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