A
female
age
30-35,
*assy09
writes:My boyfriend doesn't want to have sex as often as we used to. We used to have sex maybe 3-4 times a week. Now... sometimes it's about twice a month. He always says that he just doesn't feel like it or the "chase" isn't there anymore because I'm always hot and ready to go. He says he's still attracted to me but we're together so often it's.. boring.It's making me a little upset, noticeably upset. He's keeps asking me whats wrong but now I don't want to tell him because we've had the same discussion-turned-argument so many times I'm scared he'll feel pressured and either start having pity sex with me or he'll start to back off even more.I don't know what to do... do I start ignoring him. Give him a fleeting kiss here and there but nothing more? Do I really back off and start to seem disinterested? It's harder than just saying that since I get sex so little now I jump on the chance when it comes around. How do I get myself to hold back (masturbating doesn't help, been there)? And should I ask him to stop watching porn/masturbating? Redtube is in his top tabs when he opens his browser! I don't mind that he watches it, I do too, but could that be hurting our sex life as well?
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male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (22 January 2011):
 Wow, something is definitely going on here. At your young age, he should be wanting to have sex like a jack-rabbit. Porn could be stealing some of his energy -- why a guy would watch porn when he has a girlfriend ready, willing and able always baffles me. He could have a mild addiction to it and may find it easier just to satisfy himself and not have to worry about pleasing you (a sign of a selfish lover)
It sounds like you've settled into a routine and that's unfortunate. You need to upgrade your game a bit. Take him out on a hot date, go to a no-tell motel, dress to the 9's and hit a nice restaurant, get a sex position book, get out of town for a weekend, watch an adult video together. You definitely need to take this one in your own hands and make him want you.
If you've exhausted your routine, I think you'll need to figure out if your relationship burned hot and then fizzled (so to speak). If you decide to get married, for instance, what will your sex life be in 5, 10, 15 years?
These are important things to ask yourself and his reaction to your conversations with him about this subject and how he reacts when you upgrade your game, will tell you the answer.
Good luck.
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (20 January 2011):
 Funny, In the world I gre up in, women would be thrilled to death to find a way to NOT ave to have sex, Now it sounds like the tide has turned.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2011): It's hard to make a quick judgement call on this......Porn definitely has the potential to steal a man's sexual prowess, but so does stress, fighting with your mate, chemical usage or imbalances.....if I were you, as hard as it sounds, I would work on repairing your friendship and relationship with him for a month or two, be his best friend again, take some stress load from him....if this doesn't bring about any improvement, then I would say it is the porn and masturbation and he needs to cut down on his usage of it.
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