A
female
age
30-35,
*ebbie
writes:I am a young lady aged 20 and have been dating my first boyfriend since July 2011. We were so happy but just like any other couple we also had our share of ups and downs of which mostly were about his unfaithfulness, i would see texts messages from girls and if i raised the issue he would make sure he turns the story and then it is me who ends up apologizing for going through his phone. It went on and on to an extent of these girls even sending me messages to back off on this guy. Just recently i went straight to his house from school since i had my own key, it was around 1500hrs when i heard a knock on the door it was a girl i didn't recognize and she told me she was looking for my boyfriend. I told her he was not around and asked her if she called him and she said he had her calls rejected. She told me a story that keeps repeating in my head every day, that my boyfriend impregnanted her yet they both knew that this girl was his best friend's one night stand who comes only when she's called. They had agreed initially to share the cost of abortion so that his best friend, myself and the girl's boyfriend do not find out..But now the guy was not communicating and he is avoiding her so she came to his house that maybe by chance she will find him. I called the guy to tell him he had a visitor and he said i give that girl the phone so he can talk to her. I did that and we put him on loudspeaker and he was telling this girl that he did not have money and that she should never come to his house again. The girl got angry and took his home theater with her saying she was going to sell it to raise the money. With me he sent me a text message that i should lock his house and go home that he did not want to be stressed.Like always when he came to see me in the evening he was blaming me for going to his house (which i always do and he had never had a problem with it). I do not know what to do because i still love him and whether to tell his friend about it...please help!
View related questions:
abortion, best friend, money, one night stand, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (11 October 2012):
Some young guys really have no respect for women that fall in love with them. I really dont understand how women can be taken in, almost completely blinded, by guys that see other women, disrespect, show absolutely no signs of love or caring, yet the wives or girlfriends stay faithfully with these guys. Your boyfriend has no respect for you. Walk out straight away. It might help him grow up as well.
A
female
reader, Tebbie +, writes (11 October 2012):
Tebbie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThnx Stayc63088 that means a lot hey..im very proud of myself 2!
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A
female
reader, Stayc63088  +, writes (10 October 2012):
 Good job! Very proud of you!
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A
female
reader, Tebbie +, writes (10 October 2012):
Tebbie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello again friends..i would like to thank you all for the love and support you have shown me in this difficult time, and to update you guys i am now confident and know what i want which of course is walking away!telling his friend is not my place like Stayc63088 had said so i am out of that relationship because i am not worth it, i admit i should have done it long back.
I appreciate every1 of you's opinion...
Much love to u'al
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (9 October 2012):
 He cheats??.... he's knocked up another girl???? .... and you say you "... still love him"???????
Figure out if those three concepts make any sense, when tied together... then decide how long you want to wait before you walk away from this cad.....
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (9 October 2012):
You have been dating for a little over a year. He has already cheated numerous times and now someone is pregnant. Not only does he cheat, he doesn't even have the respect for you to attempt an apology, he just blames you. He doesn't care about you. He never will. You don't care about yourself to put up with this behavior. Why don't you care? It's a question I ask every woman who allows themselves to be treated like a doormat. Why do you allow a man to treat you this way? Love is not an excuse. You don't love yourself enough to find someone better and you need to find out why. Until then you will stay with him or someone like him who will constantly put you down and cheat on you. This is a sad way to live. Don't tell his friend anything about this impregnated woman, it isn't your business to. Deal with your problems with your boyfriend. Dumping him is the obvious solution, he won't ever care or change. Then I would reccomend counseling to get to the reason you allow yourself to be disrespected and treated this way. I don't believe it is stupidity but he is making you out to be a fool.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2012): Why in heavens name do you wanta tell his friend.. Isn't this an already big mess.. This guy is not for you sweetie, he doesn't respect you and is blatant about his other female conquest.
Do you think this is the life you mom would want to to led? Being lied to disrespected, and table turning..
For your own self worth get out, run and I mean run head to the hills and don't look back.. He's not worth your love..
And look how callous and cold he is about a baby he made, you really want this man to be yours
Why?
It may hurt the know for sometime but believe me if you keep him in your life you'll have more pain and sorrow and upset..
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2012): Leave him!!! He will become an emotional abuser, he is already making you question yourself.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2012): "My boyfriend impregnanted another girl, but I still love him!"
Then you have zero respect for yourself, which not so coincidentally is also the exact amount of respect your lying, cheating, controlling boyfriend has for you.
You can either remain his doormat and let him walk all over you from now until doomsday or you can muster up a smidgen of self-respect, pride and dignity in order to turn your back on him and walk away eyes forward.
Your choice. Your call.
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