A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:I have known this guy for a while, and I am happy. We have what i think is a normal sex life, but He sometimes hurts me unintentually when we make love. I know that he likes us to make love alot and I like it too but sometimes I have to ask him to stop. I have some brusing on my body which I hide with makeup but I think my dad suspects. My dad doest like my bf cos he thinks as he is older that me he cant be any good. (stupid or what) I was v pleased to leave home and am happy in his house. I feel we are made for each other and totally live to please him But as he is quite a bit bigger than me he can hurt me sometimes. He always tells me he loves me and never stops buying me stuff , so im like super happy. But I dont want to make him upset with me. IO dont want to come across aas bitchy and anger him again but I just dont want marks on my body all the time. Karen
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2021): Hi Karen
Dnt take this wrong,but unless you consented to £rough sex" then you sould not get ANY bruises. Does he puch you ? or have his habd around your throat?. He is bigger than yu as yu say so it must be very difficult to stop him an dif he oes this when he is inside you than you can realy do anything about it. But later on try and tell him if yu want to try and be more gentle and maybe suggest that your dad suspects. Does he also make you do certain sex acts?????. Just be careful .ATB
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2021): Unless the bruises are on your back or knees, from impromptu sex on a rug, something is not right. During wild sex with my husband (early 20's) I accidentally head butt him, giving him a shiner. But it was an accident. Are these marks on your face? Does he slap you? If so, run.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2021): You don't want to anger him again? It's clear that his anger is connected to bruises on your body.
So he creates these bruises in anger.
No wonder your dad is worried.
Your dad knows that bruises and anger are not a normal part of a relationship.
Your dad loved you as a parent should. He wants to protect you.
You should tell your dad and show him your bruises.
You should also contact the police and get this bloke charged for assault because that's what he's doing.
If he's trying to bruises you during sex that shows what a calculating fiend he is.
Because he will claim that it was all part of sex play.
I think he must've already worked on your mind to get you to accept this treatment but I am glad that part of you knows that his behaviour is wrong.
Moreover you don't want to be hurt.
I'm sure that you have a lot of agreement here.
I don't want you to be hurt.
Your dad doesn't want you to be hurt.
The police don't want you to be hurt.
The government made laws to tell everyone that it is illegal to go around bruising and hurting people.
Women don't want other women to be hurt.
We certainly don't want young girls hurt.
So I think you don't have a normal sex life.
It's not normal to get hurt making love.
It's downright sneaky and creepy of this bloke to hurt you during sex.
Does he grab you in a strangle hold during sex and bruise up your neck so that you can hardly breathe?
He knows what he is doing!
It is a silent threat that he could snuff the life out of you anytime, so please stop living to please this monster.
Please don't live with him at all!
At this rate he will get you to dig your own grave ..
So tell dad, tell The police and get this dangerous man out of your life before you disappear forever.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (1 June 2021):
 What do you mean when you write you don't want to "anger him again"? Are you scared of him? Has he hurt you in the past? Are you sure the bruises he inflicts on you are "accidental"? What sort of bruising are we talking about here? Is it, as I suspect, around your neck?
I doubt your father's reservations about this man are purely based on his age. I suspect he worries for your safety and wellbeing, as any decent parent would. You are just too immature to understand or acknowledge that.
Your relationship sounds controlling and abusive (based on what little you have written). You are living under the control of an older man who you "life to please" in exchange for sex and gifts. Do you not see why your father is concerned? Is there anyone in whom you can confide? You are obviously worried, otherwise you would not have written in. If you were MY daughter, I would be very worried for your safety and wellbeing - just as your father is.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2021): How does he actually bruise you? I'm quite a bit bigger than my wife, but I don't think I've ever bruised her during sex.
I agree with Honeypie, it's much better to nip this in the bud now than have him get used to whatever he's doing.
If he doesn't want to change what is bruising you then he is not a good guy and you should leave him.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (31 May 2021):
 Take pics of the bruises and SHOW your BF, tell him he NEEDS to be more gentle with you.
You shouldn't have bruises after sex.... unless it's somewhat done on purpose.
Don't suck it up or it will become the "norm" and he won't understand. He needs to have some control over himself. And you need to be a bit more assertive.
It doesn't sound good to be honest if you live with him and he pays for everything.
Do you not work? Or go to Uni Or something?
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