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My boyfriend has dozen of photos of his exes on his profiles

Tagged as: The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 January 2018) 5 Answers - (Newest, 3 January 2018)
A female Canada age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Hello everyone. My bf has dozens of old pictures with exes on his profiles. He said he cleaned it up but there’s still pics with at least 3 ex girlfriends. He said it’s my job to help him delete things. I’m not sure what to think about this. I said I’m not very comfortable looking at pictures of him drunk with an ex. I also said I wouldn’t want my family seeing these pics because they might misjudge him. Personally I take ex related photos and posts down. I haven’t encountered anyone that doesn’t mind leaving up posts and pictures of exes. Would you be annoyed with this? I don’t even know how to process why he wouldn’t delete them. Sometimes I get a bit hurt. His own friends think it’s weird too bc some of the posts are years old. Thank you.

View related questions: drunk, ex girlfriend, his ex

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2018):

If someone has truly moved on, who would WANT to keep them is my question. I know I don’t so if it bothers you and he obviously is hanging on to his past, don’t be social media friends with him. I’ve never heard of this either and it sounds like HE is the insecure one. Drunken pics??? I wouldn’t want my family to see a picture of my drunk boyfriend with another woman. This doesn’t seem healthy to me. We just started a new year. He should start a clean slate. Good luck and btw it’s his job, not yours. Sounds lazy.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom + , writes (3 January 2018):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntI've only had one boyfriend, but I won't remove photos of him from my social media because most of the progress in my life happened with his encouragement and support. I wouldn't be where I am without his involvement in my life. Besides, there are too many posts and photos to bother going back through every single one. It would be quicker to deactivate and create a new account, but it wouldn't be worth it.

Either check he's happy for you to delete them and you do it, or learn to get over the fact that he has a past. Most people don't bother deleting the posts or photos of exes, they just let them fade into the background.

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (2 January 2018):

If you're aware they're there, he gave you permission to delete them, and they bother you so much. Delete them!!!

Choose your battles. This is petty. Apparently you've been through them, or you wouldn't know he had them. Please spare yourself the unnecessary dramatics and do some housecleaning.

Get rid of all that trash and give yourself some peace of mind.

He has actually given you permission, and obviously allows you the access to his private folders. Have at it!

Pour yourself a tall glass of wine and tap-dance on the delete button. Use the same energy and stomach you had to snoop through them in the first place. You actually have to scroll through his phone or devices to see them.

You can't erase his memories or turn-back time. They exist and he has a history. You're not the first woman to happen to him.

Get over it and keep his/your friends out of your personal business regarding your relationship! Polling your friends and asking his buddies' opinions about your relationship is just as bad! If they are volunteering these negative opinions, you should be offended. It's none of their business!

If your problem is that he didn't follow your orders to delete them; then I guess you're appealing more to your bossy drama-queen side, than using maturity and tactfulness.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2018):

He said it was your job to help him delete things. Then do it. "Help" him delete his exes.

Personally it would somewhat bother me. Ex means it's over and it's not always a good idea to hang on to the past like that. Those memories can be in your mind, but it doesn't necessarily have to be in your significant other's face.

Does he have plenty of pics of you and him displayed on his profiles? Does he make it clear you are the only one in his life now? This could help you determine what pics you help him delete. He has dozens so maybe you could work out a compromise. Go through those dozens and you and he decide which select few to keep.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom + , writes (2 January 2018):

N91 agony auntI don't really see anything wrong with it to be honest. I have many friends that have split up with partners and not removed pictures off their social media. To be quite frank why should they? It's part of THEIR life, it's nothing to do with you.

Why exactly are you hurt? That he had girlfriends before you? Should you stop doing things together that you enjoy because he did them with exes? Of course not, that would be ridiculous. So why are you asking him to delete things that are in his past and completely irrelevant?

If he was bringing these photos up or rubbing them in your face then it would be a different story, but it seems you're the one making the issue here. If he didn't want to be with you he wouldn't, so why make a problem over something that's not there?

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