A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for three years (both in our 30s) and it has been rocky, but we both stuck into because we do care a lot about each other (I think- he has said he loves me but his actions dont say the same thing?), and we both wanted the same thing together - a future. I moved away for work, and we have been fighting so so much ever since. I am due to go back home though in a few weeks, partly so we could work things out and be together. Due some things that happened in our past (he cheated) I have trouble trusting him, and this has been the major cause of our fights - me accusing him, and him cutting me off for 1-2 weeks at a time, before then comtacting me telling me he is upset at the accusations and fighting but cares about me a great deal. I still have trouble believing him though so the fights are getting more intense/frequent - even though he is probably telling the truth, but Im unsure. The last fight I said something pretty nasty as he was backing out of a plan to see me (again the trust thing got the better of me), and he has cut me off completely. He has deleted me off various networking sites, and is ignoring me totally - its been two weeks now. Is it over for good, or will he come around? I have tried contacting him but is no use when he like this, and it feel pretty permanent this time. I hope not, as we both wanted to try to make this work when I got back to his city, but it seems unlikely. Im not sure if he seeing someone else, it seems like it to me, but again this is my trust issue. What should I do? He does suffer from depression, Im not sure how much as he doesnt talk to me much about it, just shutting down is his way of dealing with life, and he isnt getting any help, which isnt great. Any advice appreciated... I love him, and want to work things out as we both know we are great together, but not sure how when its this bad. Is it me or him? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (13 April 2011):
 Love is such a convenient word isn't it. It is an excuse for everything. You describe a relationship that has nothing going for it, describe a guy that doesn't seem to have any redeeming quality but you don't need to, because you love him...
Why? And I know love has no reason but seriously. Why put yourself through this for this guy? And no, love is NOT the right answer.
A relationship needs more then one person claiming to be in love. And if you really were in love, you would be able to describe more good things about him and the relationship.
What does love mean to you anyway?
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