A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Ive been with my bf for 11mths, he has been head over heels for me until recently. The past month has been awful I must say. He is finding ways to say he is busy (either at work or at school) so has no time for meeting me as he used to. His texts have decreased, he has become moody, if i say something he doesn't like, it becomes a conflict once in which then he ignores me for a period of time. I haven't done anything wrong against him, I have been faithful because I fell in love with him. Others can see it how it is when we are in person, of how much I care for him, they even hint him saying "don't let this one get away". On many occasions his family would introduce me to others at parties as his fiancee, but I have never said anything etc to him about it. I feel currently hurt because i care for him, yet, I feel that Im being played around since he continues to ignore me as if he had someone else now. How do I get to the bottom of this and past this? Ive tried to talk to him but all I get is "I dont know" from him, and this includes not being able to tell me what he means by that. I really need advice. Thank you.
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at work, fell in love, fiance, period, text Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ask oldersister  + ♥, writes (1 November 2009):
 It's just reality that relationships have a very low success rate. Part of the problem is that many people fall out of love once the honeymoon period wears off- they think endorphines and passion is all it takes to coast through a relationship. Once the honeymoon period is over, it takes work to build real love- real love is an action, a choice to love another person. This is a mature relationship where both people place the commitment they have above all else and choose to honor that commitment regardless of what mood they are in or how they temporarily feel. That's why you always hear that a relationship takes more than love to work!
It appears your relationship has fallen in the typical build up and demise pattern of one party not mature enough to sustain anything real. He may repeat this pattern as a serial monogomous moving from one relationship to the other, each ending when the love "high" wears off, until he grows up and takes a more real approach. He may not grow up until he's in his late 30's or early 40's!
You can always talk to him about this but the bottom line and telling factor is his actions- you can't MAKE someone feel a certain way about you or force them to spend more time with you hoping they will change. Actions say it all and you have to decide if his actions are good enough for you, if they are what you want in a long term partner, and take your future in your own hands. Take care.
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