A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ive been with my boyfriend for just over a year. all through the year i have been findin out stuff he has been doing behind my back. at the beginning i found texts he sent to his ex saying he still loves her and she told me they met and stuff...then i found a myspace with messages to other girls asking to meet...he deleted it wen i found it and he told me he would change and not do bad things anymore...then a few months later i found ANOTHER myspace (all of these myspaces have mainly pretty girls he has added on) and after i found it he told me he promises he will change...i recently found out he has a secret msn he never told me about with at least 700 girls on (he told them hes single)..he has been txtin and callin some of them aswell...i know this sounds bad but i need help :( i know what u will say but i need to hear it from other people...do u really think he can ever change?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2009): I think your boyfriend is young and he really wants to be single and keep his options open and so should you.
It isn't right for him to promise to see only you and do these kinds of things, so I would stop dating him and only him and I would keep your options open and date some other guys. Dating is supposed to be fun and at your age, it really isn't time to get too serious with any one person. I am sure your boyfriend wanted to keep you to himself and make sure you were always available to him by presenting himself in a different light than what he really wanted for himself, which is the freedom to date other girls.
Doesn't make it OK, though.
So, don't you think you deserve someone who is honest with you?
A
female
reader, Original shiraz! +, writes (7 April 2009):
No, its a simple answer to a difficult question that deep down you know the answer too. Its hard to admit it but you need to let this one go, hes unwilling to change and you cannot force him. Let him be this guy he wants to be that has girls 24/7 because when all the girls see what you have seen and all the fun has been and gone hes going to be one lonely guy whereas hopefully you will of seen this coming and your too far forward to even look back. Hes the type that wont change for sometime and even when he does it will only be when hes seen it for himself.
Move on, do whats best for you for once and start enjoying your life with somebody who earns your love and trust and offers it back.
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