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My boyfriend "forgot" to get me a birthday and Christmas present!

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Question - (25 January 2011) 7 Answers - (Newest, 26 January 2011)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

My BF forgot to buy me a bday gift and an Xmas gift...well he did not think it was necessary to buy me an Xmas gift (he bought gifts for his friends and family). I was SO hurt by this I did not talk to him for like 2 weeks, and then I told him how I felt about him not even thinking about me on such dates as Xmas... now it's going to be our 17th month anniversary and he is going to get me a gift... He says it is because its a special date but he has not given me a gift for an anniversary since our first anniversary...so I feel he just does it out of guilt.. and I'm pretty sure it's because of that, what would you say? would you tell him no to get you anything? would you feel its out of guilt? or compromise?

View related questions: anniversary, christmas

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A female reader, cry United States +, writes (26 January 2011):

cry agony aunti understand at least he could have made a card ..at the verry least write me a little i love you note on a freakin napkin.on how much you appricate me, expressing your feelings to me . comon.... it is the though not the gift . or do something ..foot rub .. are all men thoughtless .my man says he was depressed.. broke, forgott, i just asked him why he hasent gotton me any gifts .u know a person never really relizes what a good thing they have till its gone . i belive every bit of that.k i asked him why a man wouldent rember a bday or xmas. he said cause he dosent really care for that person he expressing it in a diffrent way . wish u luck and if you really want things to work with this guy its work .its struggeling,its hard and you should know people just dont want to stay together any more.i think its verry sad..well as whitney huston once said *** i wish you love *

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

To cry: He is not my husband, he does not provide for me. I am a lawyer so I sustain myself well and I'm not looking for a husband, not someone to support me financially. The issue is NOT the ITEM...is the FACT he did not think about me in such holidays, but he thought about his family and friends and worried about getting them something they liked...

And yes it's not the present in itself..its that he did not express his love for me, not an email, not a card, nothing... I swear a card, a call or at least an e-mail..something that would let me know he thought about me...anything would have been just fine. 3

Thanks for ur answers :) I appreciate the time you guys took the time to answer this. It's good to see other perspectives!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

To cry: He is not my husband, he does not provide for me. I am a lawyer so I sustain myself well and I'm not looking for a husband, not someone to support me financially. The issue is NOT the ITEM...is the FACT he did not think about me in such holidays, but he thought about his family and friends and worried about getting them something they liked...

And yes it's not the present in itself..its that he did not express his love for me, not an email, not a card, nothing... I swear a card, a call or at least an e-mail..something that would let me know he thought about me...anything would have been just fine. 3

Thanks for ur answers :) I appreciate the time you guys took the time to answer this. It's good to see other perspectives!

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (25 January 2011):

I would wake up. Not to put a fine point to it, but I find it hard to believe that he 'forgot' to buy you presents. It's usually a sign of a pretty self centred person.

Look beyond the gifts to who he really is, and really watch as to whether you mean much at all. This is most likely a sign that he's not such a great guy.

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A female reader, iicandyxoxo Canada +, writes (25 January 2011):

iicandyxoxo agony auntMaybe you should talk to him about it.

Ask him why he isn't giving you presents.

Tell him how hurt you feel and so on.

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A female reader, cry United States +, writes (25 January 2011):

cry agony auntoh you poor baby i havent gotten a present in 4 years . but i have the bills paid and food on the tabel a rooof over my head and the kids dressed .....thanks hun. i love my wonderful man .

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A female reader, TimeForTheTears United Kingdom +, writes (25 January 2011):

Does it really matter about presents?! It's all about you expressing your love, On Your anniversery don't bother getting him any presents As he keeps on forgetting yours, Maybe he'll start to realise how hurtful it is...

Brooke,

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