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My boyfriend doesn't know how to kiss and is not interested in any form of intimacy.

Tagged as: Dating, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 March 2013) 2 Answers - (Newest, 24 March 2013)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Though the relationship is only new, me and my boyfriend get on really well. However, there is one problem. He really can't kiss and I'm his first. I got out of an 8 month relationship about 2 months before I started dating him, however.

But the new guy just can't kiss! It's pretty much a dealbreaker for me but there must be some way to help him? He seems really nervous around me, won't give me lovebites, doesn't want sex - which is all fine for now, don't get me wrong - but he just can't kiss!

He always tries to talk to me or change the subject when I mention kissing. It's one of my favourite intimiate activites. I've tried kissing with sweets/drinks/chocolates to see if it helps but it won't work. What can I do?

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A female reader, MsSadie United States +, writes (24 March 2013):

MsSadie agony auntThere aren't too many options here. You can either stick it out with this dude, and deal with having to be patient since you're his first. Or you can downgrade him to a friend, and find someone better suited for your needs.

I personally don't recommend trying to pull him up to your level. When I was 18 I dated a guy who was ten years older than me, and him taking measures to force me out of my comfort zone and pull me to his level didn't work out (and that is an understatement).

You two haven't been dating that long, so it shouldn't be too difficult to take the second route if being a bad kisser really is a deal-breaker for you.

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A female reader, llifton United States +, writes (24 March 2013):

llifton agony auntsounds like he's just incredibly shy. has he ever had a giflfriend before? if not, he may not really know what to do. or perhaps he has had a woman tell him he sucks in the past and now he has a complex and no confidence in himself.

just talk to him. simple as that. just tell him you have something you'd like to clear up. ask him is there a reason he doesn't like kissing you? can you help him to feel more comfortable? let him know that you won't judge him.

sometimes people just need to learn how to mold to each other. i'm sure if he got more comfortable and relaxed a bit, he'd probably learn right away how to kiss you better.

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