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My boyfriend avoids my family!

Tagged as: Family, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 August 2016) 3 Answers - (Newest, 16 August 2016)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Should i go on vacation with my boyfriends family even though he avoids my family?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. Things are getting serious and he's been mentioning marriage and I would love to marry him one day. The problem is I'm starting to notice that he avoids my family gatherings and activities, but he expects me to be at all of his family events and its not fair! Ive Invited him to my moms birthday, holidays and even my birthday and he didn't show up.He always has some lame excuse why he can't make it. But when he knows its just me and him he always comes no matter what he makes it! We had to celebrate my birthday weeks later so it could be just Me and him!

I just invited him to an amusement park with my family and he said yes but changed his mind tonight and said he randomly has to work!

Then he asked me to come on a 4 day vacation with his family and to make sure that I go! I don't know if I want to. I spend time with his family often but I'm hurt that he doesn't do the same for me.

I'm starting to think that he thinks his family is more important than mine! I feel like I'm putting effort to make a good impression but he's not. My family has been very nice and welcoming to him.

I feel like he is scared or doesn't want to be part of my life and I'm wondering if he really is serious about me.I'm a shy person and his family doesn't even speak my language but I still make an effort to get to know them because I love him.

His families trip is the day after my families trip. Should I go with them? Or should I stop going to his family gatherings?

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (16 August 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntYou need to sit down and talk to him about this, he does not know you are feeling like this because you have not told him, everything you have wrote here you need to tell him so that he knows how you are feeling. He may not be good with your family or he may just be being lazy and not making an effort, but talk to him and allow him to explain to you why he is not making any effort, if he does not change then no don't go on his family trip until you notice he is being fair. But do be honest with him, it is the best way that your relationship will work.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (5 August 2016):

Honeypie agony auntI think you should sit him down and talk about it. If he dismisses it with excuses" that aren't really valid, I'd reconsider the relationship, not just whether YOU should stop seeing his family.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom +, writes (5 August 2016):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntSit down and have a very blunt conversation with him. There may be a reason that you haven't picked up on, or it may just be that he has no interest in being involved with your family. Whatever his response, use his actions to decide if he's doing right by you.

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