A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My boss just got married a couple of weeks ago. We are friends outside work. We talk often and he has shared something with me and I do not know what I should do. He told me that he has been sleeping with one of our co-workers and now that he is married he has no intention of stopping. My question is, do I tell his wife? I know her pretty well too. I think that what he is doing is wrong but he is my friend and telling her will ruin their marriage and our friendship. what should i do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2009): if you want to spare his wife years of heartache and misery, then yes, you need to let her know ANONYMOUSLY. BETTER she knows who is in her bed now, before any kids come along. if she continues to stay married, then it is her choice.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2009): No. What kind of a friend puts you in this spot? Perhaps your boss will no longer be a friend but just a colleague.
Estrange yourself from both him and his wife though. His wife may get your message from this! In this way you are not part of the charade or the retinue.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2009): I agree, he crossed a line when he told you. You shouldn't have to be party to his deceit.
I'm in a similar situation, except my freind has never told me, but since his cell phone dialed my admin, and she heard QUITE AN EARFULL of these 2 co-workers encounter. I've known and his wife for well over 10 years and it makes me sick thinking about it. She's found out, but I don't know who told, and don't want to... It's a crapy position to be put in. I'm staying 100% out of this, and wish I'd never known.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2009): Just tell him yuo don't want to know about something so sordid. He's put you in a crappy situation by telling you in the first place. Next thing he'll be expecting you to cover for him. How sad for his new wife. Married to an asshole and she doesn't know it yet. Men can be such pigs.
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A
male
reader, Candleman +, writes (17 September 2009):
 I would say not say anything that brings this to light as long as you are working with this person, especially if he is your boss. By informing, you threaten your job and future reference from this company, unless you go to his boss and inform him as this would be a breach of office policy. It could easily back fire on you though, and why I say it is best to leave the matter alone while working there. You could find another job and, then once you have another job, if you choose to do so, confront the wife. Even though this would probably come back on you if you then seek employment again. Another method would be to anonymously inform the wife though this could easily come back on you if he has never told anyone else. But, this could be done if you notice when and where they do it, someone could notice this and tell the wife and you could then claim you never did anything. Be aware that once you do this, you ruin a marriage, however fucked it is.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2009): Most definitely do not get into their personal business!!! They would both resent you. Do not say a word. I would also tell him you don't want to hear about it anymore if he brings it up. That way you will know nothing to tell.
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