A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a rather sticky situation. I have been dating a young man for about 3 months. A few days ago, I witnessed an unpleasant confrontation between him and one of his friends. His friend approached him at his house when I was over there, and demanded that he repays a loan! Turns out that my boyfriend owes his friend $600 dollars which the friend loaned him about a year ago, for daily necessities like food, bills, rent etc (I guess he was flat broke back then). The friend has been actively reminding boyfriend to pay, but my boyfriend was tizzed when his friend stood there and came up with excuses left and right. All in all, it was a negative confrontation which I really did not wish to see. After witnessing that, I lost respect for my boyfriend. If there is one thing that I cannot tolerate, it's people who borrow money from friends with thousand promises to repay, and they don't keep their word. I am a bit turned off by this. Should I stop dating him?
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female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (26 June 2009):
 Talk to him about it and tell him how you feel. Find out his reasons for not paying and see if they sound like bullsh*t. If he's just being a jerk let him go and count yourself lucky he showed his true colors so early in the relationship.
Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2009): Let's face it: We all have things that we don't necessarily like about our significant others.
But does this one thing really cancel out EVERYTHING else you like about him?
If the relationship isn't strong enough to handle his friend asking that a debt be paid, then I don't know how much it can handle in the future. If you are indeed contemplating breaking up with him over this, then prehaps it was not meant to be.
But I know what you mean. I was with a guy in HS (broke up now) for about 3.5 years. One day at school, my male friend came up and shoved him and knocked him over nad started yelling at him over nothing. He didn't stand up for himself, he didn't do anything. He was very.. wimpy i guess and it was a huge turnoff.
But i stayed with him because of everything else about him that i was atracted to. Sometimes, we see the ugly side of people. Everyone has one. We are afterall, human. And that is all we will ever be.
~SY.
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