A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So my aboslute best friend is gay. I'm a senior and he is a junior we met two years ago but we are incredibly close. He has been gay for quite some time (since middle school) and has had many many male partners and was against dating girls because they are gross. We are so close we even have plans of me being the surrogate mother of his children through insemination. Recently he has been kind of weird. He asked me if I "wanted him". He also keeps bringing up the subject of us getting married one day and that boys are shitty. Last night he called me and told me that i confused him because I make him like me without realizing it. He now also says we won't need artificial insemination, he says we'll just have to do it. This is really confusing me and i really don't want it to ruin our relationship, because I have never been this close to anyone before. Please please help i'm so confused on what to do????
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female
reader, :):):)  +, writes (7 May 2008):
If he is attracted to men and you, then he's probably bisexual even if he finds this difficult to admit.
Try not to talk about the surrogacy topic for a while as it isnt relevent to your life at the moment and things change.
Ask him straight if he likes you, if he does, then you can decide whether you would like relationship or not. If not at least you have some closure of the situation.
If you are close he wont mind you asking him.
xxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2008): To be honest, I think you both should grow up a bit!
Look this all sounded more like a scipt to some heartwrenching movie that a real life choice or consideration.
I have gay friends and have for many many years. Like my best buddies, but it doesn't mean that I should breed with them. This guy is a kid, confused and not stable in relationships or life yet, why would you be swayed into thinking somehow this will turn out like some fairytale.
Hes gay and has a full life ahead of him to make this type of decision. When he is grown, more emotionally stable or grounded and can provide for the offspring he may or may not produce.
You straight and love him to bits, want to be mates forever, and that is fine, normal and real. One day you will fall madly in love get married perhaps, have a family and grow old with grandchildren and dramas!
How did that go to, I want to make babies with you, I want to share my whole life with you to the exclusion of others, we will have a baby, be parents and caregivers, that will make our lives complete. Come on hun. This is your life to, and a potential childs be real about what it involves.
I can't see anything in your post or question that would give a person confidence that changing your life to the extent your considering, to make such a big decision in having a child with your gay friend is even close to being a sensible thing to do.
The thing is you say you have a great friendship and relationship with this guy, he's your friend. This is the relationship that exists. Having a family is a HUGE step for someone together, let alone two people who are really just good mates.
He is a dreamer and looking to normalise his world. I guarantee in six months he will probably be madly in love with a new bow and the thought of changing dirty nappies would horrify him!
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