A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need some advice. I'm a 22 year old with a 4 month old son. I recently split up with the father of 3 years (we split up 5 times within those years) but we kept trying at our relationship because the only problem we had was my family didn't like him. He managed to stick it out but after the baby was born he couldn't cope with my mum's snidy comments based at him. We thought we would give it a go but he turned round at me today and said that he does still love me and want me but he see's no future for us seeing as my family will never accept him. I've tried speaking to my family, my mum in particular but she doesn't listen or understand that i'm happy with him. I would of thought, my happiness comes first and and that its not about her all the time. What else should i do? Keep pleading with my mum? Or let the man i love go so i can have a easy life with my mum?
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female
reader, Angelripper  +, writes (23 August 2010):
 Your mother and family might be making some unfair assumptions about him or regarding your relationship, however if he was really in it for the long haul, he'd find a way to try to make your mother see a different side of him. You have to realize that a lot of the mother our parents will be jugemental or a bit over the top, but it's only to keep us safe because they see something we don't.
However, if your mother and family are being completely irrational, and your boyfriend actually tried to comply with their wishes but to no avail, then there isn't much that can't be done. I think that it is pretty pathetic that he would ditch a relationship and run out on his OWN CHILD because people are criticizing him. He needs to grow some backbone. If he was that concerned with you, his family, and his own well being, you guys would have moved out a long time ago to start on your own together to put a bit more distance between you guys and your mom/family. That apparently, is not what he has in mind though. Forget him, take some time to heal, and move on. It'll be tough, but it'll be worth it in the end! If he can wimp out over something like this, who knows when else he would leave at the first sign of 'danger'.
Best wishes and best of luck to you,
-The Resident Metalhead
I'm sorry you're in this position.
A
female
reader, Carrot2000  +, writes (23 August 2010):
 No, you don't let him walk out of your life. His excuse sounds like a cop-out. He's a father and you don't walk away from a relationship because of snide comments; he has a duty to provide a stable family for his son and shouldn't allow anything anyone says or does to keep him from you and his baby. If you're still living with your mother, it's time for the two of you to move into a place of your own.
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