A
female
age
30-35,
*BShizzle
writes:My boyfriend wants me to finger myself but i dunno what to do as i feel embarrassed even when he talks about it, im 18 years old and my boyfriend is 17 years old, we have slept together and i am now pregnant but still i dont know what to do, when we slept together we both werent virgins and his ex girlfriend used to finger herself in front of him and im scared in case he leave me for her i just need help?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (26 November 2011):
 Keep your refusal, short and sweet. 'No thanks.' and move on to another topic. Don't offer any explanations and don't feel obliged to provide one if asked. If you don't like something, you don't like it. There is nothing to justify.
Most men, of any age, would not leave over something this trivial, and chances are neither would your boyfriend.
I think you have mistaken his sexual decisiveness with superior sexual knowledge and that anything he wants is what everyone is doing. Not so. In fact a lot of women, young and old, dislike fingering themselves in front of a partner and refuse to do it. You're far from alone on that.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (26 November 2011):
 Honestly, if he leaves because you have some boundaries he is not worth a pot to piss in.If you don't want to do it, then don't.Tell him YOU are you and the ex is the ex. He needs to have a LOT more respect for you IMHO. He sounds like a manipulative douche.
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (25 November 2011):
 Don't do anything that you're not comfortable doing, end of.
If he doesn't like it, then he can jog on!!!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2011): If he's the type of person that would leave or cheat over something as insignificant as this... then trust me, he isn't the type of person you will want for a long term relationship.
That said, talk to him. Tell him you are not his ex and you don't feel comfortable doing that. No one should need to do shit they are uncomfortable with.
-Anon
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