A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello there,My boyfriend of 7 years likes to come up to me and touch my breasts and private area whenever he feels like. When I tried to tell him stop because I am in the middle of something, he would ask me if I would be happier if he didn't touch me at all. I don't know if this is normal. Should I just be happy about the fact that he likes to touch me? Please advise. Thank you!
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2009): You can be happy that he finds your body attractive and wants to touch you, but you also need to tell him to follow your wishes and do it at the appropriate time. I have always done the same thing at times with my wife and she either appreciates and likes it or tells me to wait until she finishes the dishes. :) Or something similar. I just stop bothering her until she seems to be more relaxed.
Sexual assault?????????? Please! As my wife said while rolling her eyes as I read that comment to her, "Oh common!"
In addition, I don't think that he is blackmailing you at all. He is just showing his lack of confidence and afraid that you don't like him touching you at all. Reassure him that you like it (I assume you do), but at an appropriate time and not when you are busy. His obvious lack of confidence is not related to respect for you. Lack of respect is a possibility, but I see nothing that you said the should transmit the idea that he has no respect for you.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (24 March 2009):
If he touches you and you don't want him to then technically it's sexual assault.
No this is not normal and the fact that he threatens to stop touching you completely is just blackmail.
He sounds like he has no respect for you and wants to control you.
Tell him you will not have it any more and if he can't behave then you'll kick him out and find a man who can.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (24 March 2009):
 You can be happy that he finds you attractive. You are more than justified in asking him to respect your reasonable wishes. I personally think it's rude and a sign that he lacks some understanding of your feelings. Why do his urges to touch override your need for personal space?
He's being ridiculous and selfish, and his response to you is just idiotic. It's not an either/or situation. Ask him to think with his big head.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (24 March 2009):
 There is a time and place for everything. Tell him the time and place you like him to touch you. Unless he is a total idiot he should be able to accomodate you. Your body your rules.
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