A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Any help and advice anyone can give I would really appreciate it. My boyfriend and I are both in our 20's and have been dating for 4 years. I love him very much but lately (as in the past few months) he seems to be pulling away from me. He is involved in tons of things outside of work as well as having a full time teaching job...I'm finishing up my last year of university. All of his other things take priority for him over our relationship. It seems he's too busy trying to please everyone else and can't say no..but he can say no to me just fine :SWe're currently doing a bit of a long distance relationship because he's living 45 minutes away. He never tells me he misses me, and actually told me that when we don't talk for a while he doesn't miss me because he has other people to hang out with.I've talked about this with him and he just sits there and looks at me like I'm from another planet, says nothing or just says "I dunno." He says he wants to be with me but I'm tired of the one sided-conversations and always seeming like the bad guy.After 4 years, a lot is invested in this relationship and I love him a lot, but I'm just so confused and I don't know what to do. I'm not a perfect girlfriend, but I'm definitely excited about spending time together, talking, being there for him and making him happy.Can anyone give me some advice or help me out? Thanks.
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female
reader, sappygirl  +, writes (20 February 2009):
 He's hinting he wants to break up and see other people.
He's doesn't have the guts to do it but he prolly wants to see what's out there. Sorry ..but guys do that.
women always inverst more in relationships than men.
we think about it...want it to be better.
but guys don't think about it unless their getting sex from it. i would just be busy and do your own thing. and maybe he will miss you and come around.
A
male
reader, Gangster for life(Mavado)  +, writes (19 February 2009):
I have the same feeling towards my girlfiend maybe because we been together so long 4 years too. The first two years was the best years and also the third year.She is a good girlfriend and treat me nice, but guest what plenty girls want to be with me, A new relationship always seems exciting with a new person. That how must men think, they think they are missing something else on the outside
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2009): Darling,45 minutes considered long distance??????????? I could walk that for the right person.Here is what to do,put yourself above the parapet,(english terms for protecting the castle).Test the ground baby,When he says Dunno, do you not think,What a thicko????You sound a bit to savvy for him, move on to a guy that has the same intellect as you.Say Good Night. You will then laugh out loud!!!!!!!. Your UK friend.x
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A
female
reader, lotus mama808 +, writes (19 February 2009):
 I always suggest opening up to a partner who is backing down from a partnership. It wasnt very considerste of him to tell you he DIDNT miss you, especially because he has other people to hang out with. Those words tell me that he has lost intrest in the relationship all together. However, this is something you need to ask him about yourself. Don't make him feel afraid to be honest with you, after all, it is honesty you seek from him, right? Time to let him open up to you and tell you whats going on in his head. Don't be sweet, be calm and straight-up. A lot of guys fear the "clingy" girlfriend, and he probably dosnt want to hurt your feelings, but all feelings aside here, he is pulling away, and you want answers. Get them. Good luck!
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