A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hiim a lil worried about my daughter, she's only 12 and she masturbates a lot, she does it everyday maybe more than once, she hasn't got her period yet.how can i make sure she doesn't hurt herself? should i stop her or face her? how should i react to this?
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female
reader, morningdew +, writes (4 December 2008):
 When I was 12, I didn't even know my,(you know) had a purpose much less for pleasure.. But know days, nothing is new to kids. And the fact that you take the time to be involved in your childs life, is great, and gives you an advantage to try and help her so she can make the most of her life.. I personally don't know if it is normal to masturbate at all at that age, I do know exploring is normal, however, I think you should definitley confront her, but before that,,get some info... Call her pediatrition, and ask questions, then call a sexologist..inform yourself first.
When you do confront her about the subject, speak calmly, you may want to start by reasuring her that you love her, and will always be ther no matter what, and that she can trust you. I wouldn't take this matter to lightly, because its your daughter, how do you know someone didn't teach her this behavior.. or maybe she is having trouble in school, or with friends, and maybe that is a way she found to forget about her troubles. I don't want to scare you, but its always better to make sure.
Only then you can help her if she is having some kind of trouble, and if not.. You can start inform her about the dangers of sex, diseases, and how an unplanned pregnancy can affect her whole life... If she hasn't gone through puberty yet, and she is doing this, imagine when she does go through it...Knowlege is power, specially to her.. after all, we make our life, through our decitions, and we make good decitions by knowing which ones are right.
I hope everything turns out well, and don't ever hold back when it comes to your kids.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2008): just let her then slowly get her to stop doing it a little at a time you can tell her that if she continues ull ground her and take the things she use for masturbating
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A
female
reader, smartazngirl +, writes (7 November 2008):
 Look at the bright side, she's not pregant with a baby.
Don't worry, she's only 12 years old. It's probably going to be a short addiction. She'll probably get addicted to something else. It happens to kids around that age. It's all normal. Don't worry about it.
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A
female
reader, Katie_Loves_Dinasours +, writes (7 November 2008):
hmm... masterbation well I am 15 and I've been with my friends through it all and I know that masterbation is healthy and everybody does it. she might be doing just for the pleasure but be glad thats all shes doing she could be out there having sex with random guys. masterbation is natural if you have concerns you might think about consulting a doctor
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2008): Masturbation is a healthy, natural thing. She is discovering herself and her sexuality, which is typical for her age. But I would advise a chat about her sexual and emotional development soon--and include masturbation as a topic. If you are not comfortable or open about sex and sexual and emotional development, she may grow to be ashamed or apprehensive about sharing it with you. And she will need your guidance to make the right decisions about love, sex, and her body.
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A
male
reader, seekinghelp +, writes (6 November 2008):
Dont you know that masturbation will make you go blind, your palms grow hair, and make you walk bow-legged... Masturbation is the worse thing you can do to yourself besides smoke a fat crack rock...
But in all seriousness, the only negative that will come from this is if you put one on this situation. Shes human, shes horny, and she is experimenting her body. Give the kid a break.
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A
female
reader, samsproperty +, writes (6 November 2008):
First, if you are the max age of your profile, that means you had your daughter when you were nine years old. So that time is not all that far off for you and you may remember that state well :)
Really, though, twelve years old is no surprise, and neither is masturabation. How should you react? Without judgement, and without policing it. Tell her it's natural, tell her it's okay. She has to put that energy somewhere; make sure you use your power so she doesn't feel guilty, and feels comfortable with this hobby.
When you say she could hurt herself, I am having difficulty imaging potential harm from masturbation. Unless of course she is endangering herself physically in some way, which I'm kinda interested in how that would work, no, maybe not.
Anyway, she's not hurting herself.
Ask yourself, what if your little 12 year old brother were doing it? What would you think? How would you respond? How do you want others to respond to their knowledge of your masturbating habit?
This is really easy. The answer is: let it go. She's better having sex with herself than someone else, and it may be it's a good thing to say that very phrase to her.
Best of luck
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