A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have been married to a lovely lass for 20 years. At present she is very depressed due to losing her Dad whom she was very close to. We have 2 children in their teenage years. My wife has just told me she had a fling 17 years ago with a neighbour who is not around any more. She says it was short lived and didn't result in full sex. She says she learned from her mistake and never strayed again. This neighbour made her feel good and flattered her. I am horrified to hear this when all along I thought we had a good marriage and 2 lovely kids to show for it. She says with her father dying it made her think back on her past and she felt she had to tell me. Why tell me after all those years Now she is heartbroken to see what it has done by telling me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2008): She must feel unworthy of you, and unusure if you can still love her. SHe did wrong, and didn't want to lose you, so she harbored this guilt, but can't carry it anymore. Some woman are weak to anothers mans attention if they are insecure. Ask her to give you some time to process this...and remember, YOU are the love of her life.
A
female
reader, katatonik  +, writes (2 December 2008):
 She told you after all those years because she still had a guilty conscience about it. Her father's death may have brought that guilt to the forefront but the death by itself is not the reason. She felt she needed to get this off her chest. Now, for better or worse, you know about it. I know this is not something you can forget overnight or ever, but try to forgive her for it, if you can. She sounds genuinely sorry and seems to have learned from her mistake. You say also that she is very depressed over her father's death. Please urge her to seek counseling for this, as depression is a serious issue. Consider going to counseling WITH her if you think her past infidelity is an issue you two may not be able to work through alone. Good luck.
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