A
male
age
41-50,
*ete111111
writes:I met this girl online 3 weeks ago. She is 20 and I am 28. We talked a lot on msn nearly every night, and even though she lives 3 hours away, as we both seemed to like each other a lot, we decided to meet up on one saturday. So I went to visit her, we went out for dinner and I stayed at her place. We slept together also. It was a really nice weekend. Afterwards we talked on msn again and decided to meet up the following weekend. However, she started seeming a little distant, for example one evening I texted her good night and got no reply - no big deal. But the next evening the same thing happened. So the next day I decided to ask her about it, I explained that I like her, but if she wants to be friends I understand. She replied saying that she really liked me on the weekend and still does, but her studying has to come first and she doesn't have lots of free time, she suggested coming to visit me after the weekend.Later on that evening we talked a lot on msn, and she explained that she feels that there is a bit of a problem with her parents - she gets on with them very well, but they really miss her and each one of them wants to see her a couple of times a week... it seemed like she was a bit stressed about it.Anyway I said that it would be great for her to come and visit, and as she is a student, I'd pay for the train ticket. She sounded keen - but then after looking at prices, said that even though I'd pay it seemed so expensive and it didn't feel right. I explained that it really isn't a problem, that if we would continue seeing eachother, then in future in more advance it wouldn't be so expensive, and this was just an exception. So she said she wanted to think about it.The next morning I looked at the prices, and it seemed that they really weren't so bad, so I texted her saying so. She replied saying basically yes, but I'm not giving her the chance to think it through like she wanted... I'm finding it difficult to understand. One part of me wonders if she is playing games with me, and I'm some kind of backup. Another part of me feels that she likes me but there possibly is some complication and stress in her life. And another part of me feels like I have and am just scaring her away...Would be great to get an opinion on what anyone thinks is going on, and what I should do.Thanks
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male
reader, Pete111111 +, writes (20 September 2009):
Pete111111 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah I really think you're right... shame I didn't think of that earlier! feels like it's a bit late now unfortunately... will see what happens!
A
female
reader, xxmissxx +, writes (20 September 2009):
 ok hun, just trust me on this one, rushing things and being too full on will make her back off.
Good things come to those who wait. patience is the key.
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A
male
reader, Pete111111 +, writes (19 September 2009):
Pete111111 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi xxmissxx, thanks for your message. I think it's good advice - I'll cool off asking her to come round and just be chatty and be there if she wants to talk, and like you say if she is interested, I'm sure she'll want to meet up!
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A
female
reader, xxmissxx +, writes (19 September 2009):
i think she probably isnt playing games, but wants to take things slow. try just going at her pace, no pressure.
And if shes stressed, then shes not gunna want to be running off here there and everywhere. give it some time, she should come round. if you just let her know ur there for her and take things slowly you should be fine.
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