A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was with this girl for a year and a half, we both liked each other a year before we got together. we were both 16 so quite young. spent a lot of time together. everything was going fine, no arguments, nothing, i don't think i was in love or anything along those lines, but i had a lot of feelings for her. the last few weeks of the relationship it messed up, we started arguing over silly things. we broke up and 2 weeks later we decided to give it another shot, a few days later she ended it for no reason and announced she met another guy at a party, and got with him the day after. Obviously i was hurt by this it took me a good 3-4 months to get over it. After they got together she was still texting and phoning me, normal talk and flirting. i didn't react to any of it because i knew it was fake talk. We cut contact a few times. (longest being a month with no talking or seeing each other) i know i shouldn't have ever spoken to her again. We cant be friends, we don't work as friends. Anyway she started telling me she loved me etc met up a few times but she was constantly texting and ringing me it was like we was together. I didn't think much of it at the time. even though i always had her and him in the back of my mind. (it killed me thinking about them) they split up and she came running back to me. i tried everything to get her back i was weak. She said we can try to be friends and we'll see what happens from there onwards. Told her friend she wanted me. a week later she got back with him. . . Again i was hurt. Then to make things worse she told me they were just on a break. this happened all over again. we were friends. we flirted. i got annoyed and upset over them. we argued. we cut contact. over and over again. I know i shouldn't have even gone back to her! its so hard not to when you have such strong feelings for someone. She split with him again, we booked a holiday together, i was basically her doormat and i knew that. but i wanted her, i convinced myself it'll all be okay. She got back with him a month later. Nothing happened between us again after that. i moved on with someone else, didn't reply to her texts or phone calls. ignored her in the street. I was always getting told how her boyfriend was cheating on her and she knew about it and how they always argue and hurt each other. To be fair i didn't care about any of it. I wanted my life back i split with my girlfriend a month ago, she split with him a week after. And guess what she came running to me. I admitted i loved her, and she said the same back, she told me she never loved her boyfriend. It was always me. the past 3 weeks we have planned a lot together and agreed we will wait until everything blows over to make a new start. i guess it was what i wanted to hear. i never pushed her into saying anything to me. Then i find out she actually slept with 3 other guys when we were together, she admitted it. i forgave her. Few nights ago before my birthday she was upset. So i text her saying i loved her. and she said are u sure it isn't lust. Well obviously i was sure! she then told me shes had a reality check. and thought she was pregnant on this day. bare in mind i haven't slept with her during the past year and a half. I was upset by this and i told her i couldn't be friends not now not ever, i admit i chucked a few nasty childish words at her, and i know i hurt her and regret it. its all over. and she then told me it was a good thing because now she can get back on track with her ex. and thats exactly what she did.sorry for writing such a long story, i am not quite sure what to do with myself now. I know not talking to her will get me far. Its just i cant seem to get her out my head and in a way i want to be friends. i don't see why i cant just man up!!! i keep thinking its all OK, i knew this was going to happen i just put that to the back of my mind. I cant get her out of my head. I want him to know what shes really like but on the other hand i don't because i know it'll just hurt him the way im hurting. how do you get over someone? Ive been stuck to her for the past 3-4 yearsI cant even sleepplease help
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2010): You need to realize that
1) you're a man. (You are, aren't you?)
2) your dignity is far more important than any woman. And i said woman, not cheap piece of trash, like your ex.
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