A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I know that when a guy looks for a girl to marry the less sexual experiences the more that guy finds that girl to be attractive. If you were a virgin man would your future wife prior sexual history be a turn off? If your wife swallowed another man would any of this bother you?
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male
reader, yesno +, writes (7 April 2011):
Your feelings are legitimate. Women (and some men) will try to make you feel you are immature, unenlightened, or simply hypocritical. You're not. You're reaction is valid. Your emotions are your own. And the fact that what you feel is felt by a majority of men when confronted with this type of behavior in women, should give you comfort.
Here is the issue in my opinion:
1) Men put the women they love on a pedestal. The revelation that she is not, in fact, on a pedestal is jarring. The solution is to realize that very few women deserve to be on a pedestal. They are simply other guys with vagina. When you realize this you will see women more clearly.
2) You value sexual modesty. Don't sell this ideal short. There are women out there who value sexual modesty too.
3) The only women who get upset about this are the ones who do not value modesty but want to be treated as though they do. You are a man. And like any woman, you are entitled to think and feel what you want.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2011): Yes, Id be turned off and honestly, angry if I found out she was careless with her body. Logically, thatd question possible faithfulness. What would this woman do if she got upset with me? Go to another man? woman? You see if she's proven her history is loyal to the other person and not casual, that can mean good things and that she's serious about the relationship and focused only on you. If she swallowed, I would never ask that. I dont wanna know.
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A
male
reader, angelluvr +, writes (12 March 2011):
The only way that stuff would bother me would be if she had a disease. How I look at it.......is she might be able
to teach me something
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2011): It bothers us because we are normal human beings that are made with feelings. Feelings don't obey our commands and they don't always make life easier for us.
If you have to ask "why would a person wanna feel that way?" then you REALLY don't get it at all.
As for swallowing in particular, it's not a huge deal to me. I would be more focused on how choosy she was about giving guys BJs in the first place, than whether or not she swallowed.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2011): "when a guy looks for a girl to marry the less sexual experiences the more that guy finds that girl to be attractive"
Only if that is an issue for that guy/gal. Virginity is not a measure of "value" in a person if you have any brains at all.
Why should any of this bother any one of us?
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A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (11 March 2011):
Most people (not just men) are turn off by knowing about their partner's sexual past. It doesn't even matter if you are a virgin or not. Most people don't want to know about sexual past.
There is a good deal of people who would be bothered by details about their partner sexual past. And another good deal will be unable to take it. Even breaking up a relationship for this sole reason.
In the other hand there are some people who would even like knowing about these details and would be turned on.
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