A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I met a women on a dating site, talk for two weeks, then decided to meet, she wanted to meet at a bar, three hours later it was great,we laugh ,alot hug kissed talk about everything, decided to go out on sunday, the next day she tex me an said am sorry but i am still in love with my married man, that she see him only three times a year he lives in another city. She should of told me that first nite. But the kicker is , its been two days an she is always on the dating site, of course i AM, I think she out right lied, before we met that nite i told her if she didnt want to see me again, just to say lets stay friends.But she was the one who wanted to meet again on sunday, it seem like we had a connection, she has the right to go out with any body she wants, but why lie about it.She said i treated her so good she went home an called him, so did she just used me, then go on to the next guy, whats bad is i like her.Or was the married guy just her excuse to dump me.Thanks. The nice guy lost again, am about ready to give up being the nice guy, an treat them like s..t, seems like that is always the guy who gets the girl, i hate it.
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (2 May 2014):
 When it comes to dating sites you have to (unfortunately) deal with a lot of trolls and toads.
It might take a date or two to figure out if a woman is a troll, a toad or a decent woman with dating potential.
Even trolls can start out by being nice.
She didn't "dump" you because you are a nice guy. She did it because THAT is HER MO. My guess is she has MANY guys take her out once or twice. Her attitude is.. :" Hey... it's a free meal and lots of attention!"
If you find out a woman is NOT who she pretends to be or what you'd want a date to be, then DROP it and move on to the next. Don't waste time on those who play games. Life is too short and that woman is TOO old for that kid of crap.
NEXT!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2014): I am way to young to be giving you advice but time waits for no-one. Move on despite if her excuse was legit or not. She has agendas, don't waste your time.
That's my opinion btw
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A
male
reader, methuselah  +, writes (2 May 2014):
Hello Sir, This is so similar to a situation I experienced I feel the need to reply. First of all...Don't change. Be nice, don't change yourself for anybody. I began online dating and messaged and texted and phoned a lady for 4 weeks. We met, had a great time, meal, film, bus rides, walks, etc. You name it, we filled the whole day up and had real fun. At the end of the day, she told me that she wasn't sure and felt i didn't attract her. That certainly confused me. I couldn't believe it! However, she had a right to her wish, so I told her that if she wanted to get in touch then feel free. I went home, sad because I really felt she was a great opportunity as a partner. Two days later, I received a text to ask to talk. I agreed, and she telephoned to say that she missed me, she was sorry for reacting. She had been in an affair on and off for 6 years since her divorce, she was in love with her married man, but he hadn't committed. She had been told by her daughter to meet me again and have a another date. You see, I believe the 'pull' of her affair had numbed her to any other man long-term. Her daughter could see this and encouraged her to meet me a few times. Eventually, after a few weeks, we made some ground together and we began dating. The married man kept messing with her mind but she became torn between myself and him. After around 9 months, she fell in love with me, and we eventually married. She had invested so much energy and time in her affair that she felt 'cheated' that she wasn't going to get anything for it. It's hard for her, the man had messed with her head. she realized that at all times, she needed to 'keep away.' (not easy, it was a drug to her)So for you Sir, I think she is caught between wanting this married man that she has invested all her time and emotion in and wonders whether, maybe, just maybe he might want her. She is in a dark place that strips you of all security. Perhaps she thought he would be jealous, perhaps there is a part of her crying out for someone to rescue her from her situation. It's a real shame and a emotional roller coaster of emotions. For you, you did nothing wrong. Be nice, be yourself. She cancelled Sunday because of the lure of the married man. If you are really keen on her, send a text and say, 'if you want to meet again sometime, then let me know.' I believe she may just get in touch again when she realizes she has thrown away another opportunity because of her situation. If she does, then it is your turn then to decide. Best wishes, let us know how things go.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2014): Sounds like she just wanted a date and that she had fun, but she didn't see it going anywhere. I've had tha happen too: some guy is really nice, we hit it off, we have fun, and when I get to go home and think about it I realize that once the "newness" wears off, there really isn't any spark there. So instead of leading the guy on, I break it off. The difference is that I'm not seeing anyone else and if she was (the married guy) then she should have been up front. Maybe she thought you wouldn't have gone out with her if you'd known, that's my guess. A lot of women on those sites really just want to be wined and dined and date around. (And many of those men want to skip the dat ing and just have sex). Hopefully, you'll find more people like yourself who are serious
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