A
female
age
36-40,
*nsure23
writes:im married to my hubby for now 3 years.i was 20 when i married him, arranged marriage but with my consent.he is 15 years older than me and actualy looks that old too, at times people avtually thought he was my father.at that time i was so stupid to understand such matters and differences like age gap.but now at age 23 i regret marrying him n feel like i made a wrong choice and married for all the stupid reasons.i have bacically normal and good life with him but the problem is i actually feel ebarrasesed about presenting him to my friends and family and even people look liking noticing.every now and than when i see my friends or cousins husbands or boyfriends who look a nice match , i feel even more unsure about my marriage.i have been trying to ignore such feelings ,but it keeps on happening.what im really concerned about is , am i really gonna spend rest of my life lets say 40years feeling and thinking like this(i have a 2years old son too)? whats gonna happen?what will i do?
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male
reader, fun1031  +, writes (15 July 2009):
Hey,
Check your feeling really good. If you continue to be gnaw at by those feelings of the age difference, you should be honest with yourself now before it is really too late. I assume you have no children at this point. Now I am dating a someone I really love and I am 25 years older than her. Even though I look like I am 15 years younger, I told my GF love is one thing, but if she were to marry me she should think very hard and the consequences of the future. NOw she is with me because I help her out financially and emotionally since she had many problems and is not able to work. I even told I would love to marry her someday but she has to clear about her future. For example, when the time come that I longer have the sex drive and she does, than what? I might be sick in my old age and is she going to take care of me? I don't want her to get stuck in her life spending time to take car an old man.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2009): It's funny, I wrote in another post about how age difference relationships generally DO NOT WORK and for good reason. Don't listen to these people who are telling you he is a good man - he can't be that good if he married someone who was essentially a child compared to him. He lacks something by getting together with a young girl and now the young girl has "grown up" and now sees what a sham this is. It won't work so get out now; this situation will only worsen, not improve.
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (14 July 2009):
 YOU cant let other peoples opinions dictat your decisions in life this seems to be a good man theres no guarantee you will find another that treats you this way, your young now and your freinds opinions mean alot to you but in ten years you will want a man like your husband you started a family young accept the responsibility for that love your husband dont be ashamed of him he sounds like a good man if your proud of him your friends have no choice but to accept him if they dont there not real friends they should support you and be glad your in a happy loving marriage 15 years isnt that big of a diffrence it means hes older mature responsible and should allready have the means to provide your family with a good life, as for looks well we cant stay young forever tell your freinds to try going out with out make up and see what happens, secondly its possible that you can get your hubby to tone up hit the gym change his wardrobe try some just for men whatever he can do to take a few years off 38 isnt ancient, dont leave your hubby over this just work with him through it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2009): When to people deeply love each other you dont see these differences. Have you asked yourself the question "Do I still love him?" What matters here is how do you feel about him. Dont let people try and change how you feel about him because everyone is going to get old Yes even you and no one is perfect even the young ones have inperfections possibly worse. Does he treat you with respect? Is he their for you? You say you have a good life with him then this is great because most marriages today are not this way. Think about your son as well I couldnt tell my son I left your father because their was an age difference Examine yourself and what you want not what others want. Pleasing others other than your spouse is not a good thing. If your not in love with him then work on it. I had a relationship where he was 20 years older then I and it was the best ever!!
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (14 July 2009):
 You don't seem to be in love with your husband anymore.
I think that here you need to make a decision. Do you stay with him, or not? Things are not going to happen just by themselves.
Wish you the best.
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