A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am a 40 year old Widow with two boys aged 14 and 7. I have been in contact with a man I have known through a sport my husband was involved in. My eldest son still plays and this guy is a coach. We started communicating via emails, then texts and phone. Texts are at least 3/4 per day and phonecalls/emails once or twice a week. I have socialised with him and the kids 3 times in the past 7 weeks as we live a long way away and he has been the perfect gentleman. The kids like him and I have flirted a little with him but he seems to be keeping me at arms length. Even when we have managed some alone time he is still the gentleman. I like him enough to want more of a relationship, but am not sure if he wants this too. Sometimes he flrts with me in texts and I always have a hug when we meet/say goodbye. Even when we are at sports events he treats me nicely in front of other parents and will offer me his jumper or chair. What do I do. How do I tell he likes me that way. I was married for almost 20 years and have no experience of building new relationships. Any advice would be appreciated.
View related questions:
flirt, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2009): Hi,
Because you are communicating so much and it's apparent that you get on so well... dont you honestly think you likes you. He is possibly waiting for the right time but it has never presented itself, a bit the same as you.
I used to love it when I was in this same position and the women simply leant over and placed a small kiss (on my lips) - makes a thousand words useless...
As you are a Widow (sorry to hear) he is playing the Gentleman to not step on anyones toes - including your previous husbands memories. By you making the first move; however small, will be assurance that he can proceed with caution... ;-)
All the very best - you both sound like a lovely couple.
Steve S
A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003  +, writes (21 September 2009):
 The first question is whether he's married. If not, I think building a new relationship is not difficult at all.
If he's truly attracted to you, then try and make some time to spend together on your own, or on occasion, with the kids.
It seems to me that if he's honest and he has feelings for you, then that's the most important thing. Trust building is what will kick it off.
Once you have that, you can go through the usual motions of intimacy like any other couple. You build that through emotional connections and a great deal of acceptance of each other.
I think the key here is spending time together alone and with the kids. If the bonds are there and the kids really love him, then you've got a winner there. It sounds to me like he's got the right stuff for you.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (21 September 2009):
It sounds like he does like you. But he may be very wary because you are a widow (and i am sorry for that) and he doesnt' want to seem to be intruding. Of course, he could also be doing the honorable thing as well. Ultimately there's only one way to tell and that's to tell him how you feel. I'm afraid I can't tell you how he will react. But it would be a shame if you didn't find out where it could lead. So be very brave, sit him down and gently explain to him that you would like to take the relationship further. Lots and lots of luck xx
...............................
|
