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female
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anonymous
writes: My boyfriend works every single day. He gets up at 4 am and goes to sleep when he gets home. One day he was home so I called him and asked him if I could come see him. He said no but I went anyways because I feel like I never see him. His grandma let me wake him up and he was so mad at me! I mean, I know I was wrong but I NEVER get to see him! Was I really that wrong? What can I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2007): well i would call him and tell him ur sorry and that you won't do it again. If he is still mad well get over him. he should know it's nt your fault u just wanted 2 see im'!
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male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (25 May 2006):
 Yes and no. Its not wrong to want to spend some time together and this is defiantly an issue you need to address if you are feeling neglected but you do have to consider his working patterns and the fact he needs rest.
It is right to say that you shouldn't take it too personally, your bf is human and if hes cranky and tierd sometimes then we all are. I think you need to talk and sort out some quality time together then you wont feel the need to disturb him when he's resting.
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female
reader, honey_08 +, writes (25 May 2006):
 the bad thing is u woke him up, knowing he works long late, u can visit him and see him without waking him up, just wait for him and have a good talk to his grandma. if u feel that u didnt see him often and which i know u miss him alot, then talk to him and ask for him to give time for u, even if he works alot. it will be better for both of u and in your realationship to find time to each other spend quality time., your relationship will be end for nothing if u both dont spend time together, one of u will be fall out of love in a long run. if he can not see u, then u should make a move, have some effort to see him, but do not woke him up, (wait for him to wake up) or call him often times and check if he's doing ok, express how u care for him and how u love him by doing some effort, that u do every possibly occation u can show him how important he is to u, and then i know he will noticed it, that your doing everything and he will do something too, to make your relationship work. talk to him and as long as both of u can save your relationship then save it....
takecare
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female
reader, LittleBrownGirl +, writes (25 May 2006):
Most people and definatly those who work long and late hours seriously do not like to get woken up any time during there much needed beauty rest... Don't take it personal.. If you really feel like you two do not spend enough time together talk to him MAKE TIME even through his busy schedule IT CAN BE DONE.. Communication is a beautiful thing. And no you were not wrong just lonely I get it....
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2006): You know next time you want to go see him, you need not wake him up. Just ask the grandma to let you in, then go to his room, and sit there and read a book or something. When he wakes up, give him a kiss or a hug, then go home.
It's great that you are going out with a hard working individual. Of course, if he isn't putting much of anything out for you, then you might want to reassess your relationship with him. Then again, if he is trying to work harder to gain a better future with you, the wow, what a guy, but I understand if you need more love and cuddling, etc...
Actually, I don't think you were THAT wrong. You were just a bit inconsiderate. That's all. 8]
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2006): Sorry to sound brash, but yea!! It was totally wrong and not to mention kind of rude for you to come against his will... Put yourself in his shoes and think how it would feel if he came over to your house, against your will, and woke you up when you had had little to no sleep... not very nice is it? What you did was to please yourself, and it obviously did not please him. I am sure he is not happy about the hours he works either... sorry but it's not a choice he has to make. People have to work to live, it's a fact!
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (25 May 2006):
 Well, in a word, Yes. You were wrong to come over when he specifically asked you not to.
What you did was please yourself ("I never see him") instead of thinking what would be best for him.
Although it can be difficult when the two of you work different shifts, you need to work out a timetable that suits you both. Surely, he doesn't work *every* day? Between the two of you, you can find some time to meet and have fun, or he's going to work himself into an early grave.
Meantime, consider this a wake-up call. Think about how your actions affect your boyfriend, because a relationship isn't just about making yourself happy.
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female
reader, Hopeful +, writes (25 May 2006):
 Yeah, he didn't want to be woken up and you did. He was probably exhausted and needed some rest. Probably not the best thing to do but by the same token, it is understandable given that you haven't seen much of him.
It sounds like the two of you need to start managing your time so you can spend more time together. You are going to have to work around his schedule and he is going to have to make time for you too.
It's all about compromise. He needs to give you time but you also have to respect that he has a tiring lifestyle as he is up so early and if he needs to sleep, he needs to sleep.
Suggest a chat with him where you can work out some good times to spend together and negotiate a bit of a schedule so you don't feel neglected but he has time for his job and his rest.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, lisa_01 +, writes (25 May 2006):
 Well yea it was wrong to wake him up like that, are you sure he works everyday? he must get some time off at some point. 4am can be a diffcult time to get up and go to work and its understandable he would be tired when he gets hom.
But aside from all that, it sounds like to me the relationship is not going so well, i think its probably because he is working more and spending less time with you, relationships cant grow if you spend all your time apart. Yes what you did was wrong but he needs to understand that your not going to just sit around and wait for him and when its best for him to see each other, it just does'nt work like that. Trust me, my bf worked 12amm to 6am for about 4 months, i lived with him and id only see him maybe 2 hours a night, he would even sleep on his days off, i almost called the relationship off but then he left his job and everything went back to normal. So you need to really sit down with him or talk to him about were the relationship is going.
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