A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I can't get over my ex of 8 years who I split up with two years ago. I met him at University and adore him but he has no ambition. He has lots of potential but doesn't know how to apply it. I tried helping him but in the end there didn't seem to be anything I could do. He simply isn't competitive in the work place and I doubt he will ever be successful. I cannot picture raising a family with him and sadly I'm not sure we would earn enough together to support ourselves, let alone children.I have started seeing a fantasic, lovely guy who could offer me security, great lifestyle and love. However when I think of my ex my heart aches. If money were no issue I would choose my ex as my life partner. I feel like I have to make a choice between love or lifestyle. This new guy is a fantastic person and I could probably grow to love him but I'm not sure it will ever be the same or ever be enough.Are we loyal creatures? Is this why I can't picture my life with anyone else? Am I feeling this way because I'm not really inlove with guy no 2? I'm lost and sad. I miss my ex and it feels as if I'm pretending with my new one. Any advice would be great.
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ambition, miss my ex, money, my ex, split up, university Reply to this Question
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female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (6 September 2010):
 this is one of the most difficult questions,no wonder it has received 0 answers. I was dating a guy that is just like your guy # 2. he called everyday,took me out and payed everytime,popped champagne on the beach and cooked for me but UMMM ....If it wasn't for all that,would i be dating him? I am asking you the same thing. Nothing wrong about having a BACK UP (i still talk to this guy) but since he's not on your priority list,why put him there? Youre young,you can meet even better guys.Dont compromise for the lifestyle. It's just the frosting on a cake that isnt of good quality. Now,I also know how you feel about guy # 1. I've been there,and the guy was amazing,but I couldnt see him being successful. And I know myself well enough to know I can't be with someone who isn't goal oriented. Sweety,you need to take the time to FIGURE yourself out. If you know exactly what you want,it will be easier.Also,you were with your ex for 8 years so you must know him really well.you know what he can offer you,but is it enough?obviously not.yes it was enough when you were younger but now? ...just date the guy #2 and keep your options open. :-)
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