A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:In short, I met an American during 3mths over there (I'm in uk) and now I've had to return home due to my visa. He was charming, a gentleman, lovely and funny but totally incapable of expressing an feeling. He cried at the airport when I left but since then all he's done is text daily-they are chatty messages and sometimes flirty but never affectionate. I'm applying for jobs over there and have told him I plan to be back in a month or 2 but he doesn't really make any comments about it except to say "good". I should say that he's not a very expressive guy generally about anything so that's ok but I want to know at least what he wants from me and whether I should keep waiting for him to tell me? I respond to his texts with equally chatty stuff because I don't want to scare him off. The only time I told him how I feel was when I said I was crazy about him at the airport and sent a subsequent email explaining why. He didn't respond (i told him it wasn't necessary). I'm so upset and confused, do I hang around?? Thank you so much.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2010): Thanks for the comments so far, my instinct is to ask him how he feels but as it can't go anywhere right now, it's probably best I don't know his feelings...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2010): I think you might be just acting on impulse. I mean you guys have to meet and learn more about one another before waiting for him. Leave your options open
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A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies  +, writes (30 August 2010):
 hrm this guy is a mystery. don't expect him to tell u his true feelings,watever they might be. if he asks you why u wanna come to america,just say its the job thing. if he wants u,he will pursue u.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (30 August 2010):
 He wants you to move because that's what you want to do, not because of him. You have to like this country, and be okay with being away from family and friends. Suddenly he's wondering if he's that good that made you want to change your whole life because of him. He's afraid of making that bet so he doesn't want to be responsible if things go wrong in the US. I am sure he would be very happy if you do move there. Since you are the one who's doing all the travelling, you have to decide what you want to do with this relationship, not him. It won't be fair for him to call you girlfriend now because he doesn't know if he can make you happy. He doesn't know what your long term plans are. On the other hand, stopping all contact would be cold and heartless. You have to take a leap of faith and do what feels right at the moment.
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A
female
reader, Oregongrl1 +, writes (30 August 2010):
Nope you wer'e used! still keep your plans come to America! but not for him.Best Wishes!
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