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Living with his parents, watching him watch football -- sometimes it feels like I'm wasting my time

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 April 2012) 8 Answers - (Newest, 11 April 2012)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I've been with my bf for over 2 years now and I feel like nothing has changed or moved forward in our relationship we are stuck in a bungalow with his mum and dad and ass hole of a brother and it's starting to take its toll.

All my bf is interested in is watching and playing football and I don't feel like its enough anymore, I'm gonna be 26 in a few months which isn't mega old but sometimes I feel like im wasting my time everytime I talk about the future and I may as well be talking to a brick wall I really don't know what to do anymore I love him very much I don't wanna wait around forever.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (11 April 2012):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntAs regards this: "....what does us sleeping together have to do with anything with my question...."

Because "sleeping together" (having s*x) is EVERYTHING that a guy seeks in a "relationship".... and EVERYTHING ELSE (in that "relationship") is just the incidentals which must be attended to in order to assure that he keeps getting s*x......

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2012):

No offence what does us sleeping together have to do with anything with my question? Yes we sleep together but it's becoming less often and after reading all these comments in staring to doubt my relationship we don't really have much in common everytime we talk I get one word responses and all he wants to talk in depth about is cars.

Maybe things won't change I really dont know what's for the best it's just really beginning to sink in.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2012):

He's in his comfort zone, 25 years old still living with his parents, if you don't make a change in your life you'll be stuck also living with his parents the rest of your life, no way on this earth my parents would allow you to stay in our house with my brother and you two are not married. Are you two sleeping together in his parents house?

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A female reader, Lucky786 United Kingdom +, writes (8 April 2012):

Lucky786 agony auntNothing is going to change until you decide to take charge of your own future. Why wait for others to make your life for you?

If he isn't interested in your future as a couple now what's going to change that? For him things are comfortable. he can carry on doing the things he wants and have his girlfriend live with him without having to really do much.

Move out, get your own place and stat working on your own happiness.

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A female reader, The.path.I.have.chosen.is.my.burden. Canada +, writes (8 April 2012):

Tell him then! If you are not happy make sur ethat he knows it! And why not ask him to move out and get a place of your own? But untimately it comes down to your happiness.If you aren't happy get out of there but if he is willing to change give him a chance but in the end you need to do what is best for yourself.

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A female reader, answerfromtheheart United States +, writes (8 April 2012):

answerfromtheheart agony auntyou have feelings like that for a reason. If you feel this way in a relationship, think about how you are going to feel if you guys were actually married and filled with all the responsibilities of having a family.

If he is "like talking to a brick wall" now, will he be there for you when you guys start a family?

Most likely you yourself know the answer to that question.

I know it's hard to walk away from someone you love and have been with for such a long time, but you have to ask yourself if you will be happy being married to a person who is showing you know his qualities.

Is that the kind of married life you want?

You may already know the answer to that, just not willing to really accept it. As many of us close our eyes on really important things because we do care for someone.

Do you see yourself with such a man for a husband?

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (8 April 2012):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntThere are probably lots of OTHER details of your relationship that "dig" at you, as well, no?

When considering the permanance of what has and will go on between you (two)... think about if, what you're "seeing" now is the TOTAL of what will go on between you (two) indefinitely.... IF you can honestly say that it is.... and if you find it as frustrating as you describe, then the fates are not in your favor, and it's likely that this guy is NOT "the one" for you...

Think this one over long and hard..... and make a decision.... Remember: there are LOTS of men of your age group out there and available... and you needn't compromise what YOU want YOUR LIFE to be....

Good luck...

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A female reader, cca9130 Costa Rica +, writes (8 April 2012):

Have you ever talked about your feelings with you bf? Maybe he'll understand. Sometimes, it's hard to leave from a situation like this because you love him and you've been connected with this guy for two years now. I believe that you should put your goals in life first, because, even if you don't, you'll always have different aspirations in life and one of the most important things you must have in common with a person you're considering as a lifetime couple is to have the same goals or you'll end having an even nastier breakup.

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