A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm a straight male aged 21 years old. I live in a small town in the south of the Netherlands. I still live with my parents and i've got a job as an IT networking specialist. I really hate my job, but i see no other options. I've got a lot of friends who are doing fine. Some of them are starting to get a nice house. Others are getting really nice girlfriends. They never really worried about the future and everything just came towards them. They all live perfect peaceful lives. Most of them are still in school and just enjoying their freedom of their youth. I'm the only one of all the people i know that doesn't have this progress in life. I've always remained alone therefor i'm still a virgin. My job doesn't pay well. In the evening i spend most time with friends or alone when they are with their girlfriends. We go out a lot, but I never managed to interest a girl. I'm not too shy to go and talk to them, some of them feel comfortable around me, but they never see me as a cute guy or boyfriend material. I've waited for a really long time now and it's starting to get frustrating. My friends tell me that it will eventually come, but they all lost their virginity at the age of 15 and 16. I'm just wondering that it might be a combination of everything. My friends describe me as really average.
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live with my parents, shy, still a virgin Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for commenting all. I've sit around and thought a long time. Eventually it doesn't really bother me. It is the view other people have of you. So i might be a little late with it. Big deal, i'm going to spend my time more productive. Make sure that i'm always a step forward in life.
A
male
reader, Andy_2008  +, writes (11 January 2010):
it took me until 22 to lose virginity, you sound a little similar to how I was at 21. Now I am 30 and certainly, it's much easier to get girls now, have a choice even. For me, back then, it was easiest way to meet a girl I spoke to on the internet and we just talked online for ages, she was quite similar to me, with little confidence and social skills at that time. We lost virginity to eachother. That's how I did it. Whether it can work for you to find a similar female... maybe, but there's lots of people similar. Another possibility is to find a girl who you could just try to lose virginity too, someone 'easy', just to get that out of the way because for me at least that was the biggest thing to lose my virginity.
I know it's hard just now, but don't give up, it will get better, keep trying, it's not too late.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2010): "I get in touch with a lot of girls. The thing is mostly they see me as a friend. I'm a very good listener and girls like to talk to me. When it gets a little more intimate. I get very shy"You were probably raised in a house where you were taught women had their rights, respect them, give them space and a large number of things like that.Most likely your biggest problem on why most girls consider you as just a friend, is because you don't really touch them. I'm just talking about little things like brushing their shoulders, touching their hands and being touch friendly. Another reason is probably because you are the good listener, the friendly guy, the "safe guy".And a word of warning now, never be a "crutch"(A guy friend that is her emotional support, someone that cares for her, likes her, and makes her feel special when her boyfriend isn't around or when she doesn't have a boyfriend)to a girl that has a boyfriend. In fact I would recommend being careful being those things unless you were dating the girl. I only say this because I was a lot like you. In fact I probably still am. I'm 23 now, but when I was 21 I didn't have much fashion sense, I was extremely shy, but sociable when people talked to me. Though I didn't do much touching. Luckily with the help of a couple of friends that were girls I became a little more outgoing.Any way, after that I did get a girl I liked quite a bit to fall for me kind of... Its rather complicated but suffice it to say that I know she has feelings for me but I just ended up being a crutch for her, that's why I suggest you don't be the crutch. It hurts, a lot.But I would really recommend you try to be a little more touch friendly, perhaps you can get your friends that are girls to help you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2010): Difficult to advise without knowing you. If literally every other guy is getting laid except for you, then it must be something in the way you come across that's difficult to put into words.
Perhaps it's a matter of being comfortable, especially when things get a little more intimate. If you can hold eye contact when feeling intense desire, that's good (don't flick from one eye to the other though).
As for clothes, expensive is ok, just make sure your clothes suit who you are, or you can look kind of try hard.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI wear really expensive clothing and I take good care of my health. I go to fitness 2 times in the week and i'm really not bad looking. I go out a lot! Sometimes 3 times in a week to al sort of different parties. The reason why girls aren't really interested is because i am very normal. Just very average. I get in touch with a lot of girls. The thing is mostly they see me as a friend. I'm a very good listener and girls like to talk to me. When it gets a little more intimate. I get very shy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI working towards my dream. In September i'm attending one of the best schools in Holland. My dream is to be a project manager for big concerts and events one day. It's not that i'm completely unsatisfied with my current situation. It's just the feeling that i'm missing out on a lot of good times. I still hate my work and my contract is over in 2 months. I don't really mind being a virgin, this site changed the title. But a nice girl would be a great improvement on my life. It's just a sort of jealousy towards others.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2010): Get someone who knows about style and get a clothing/hair/grooming makeover. They present clothes that suit you, you choose what suits you on the inside (your personality).
I know this sounds really shallow, but style and grooming speaks volumes to women.
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A
female
reader, LadyMech22 +, writes (5 January 2010):
 Hey
I understand you kinda. I am 16 and i still am single and still a virgin which all my friends are the opposite which frustrates me too :S. I am not the best looking girl and not the best body shape either lol. All you really have to do is just wait for the right one to come along for you. If you are really getting fed up with being single then maybe you should try the dating websites to find somebody or just even to get your self prepared and use to chatting and flirting with girls.
With your job you should start looking for another job with better pay but stick to your current job till you can find the better job. YOu should look into gettin into a job to do with your hoobie so you will enjoy it.
You just have to wait till you get to the stage in your life where you will get everything you wanted it will take time but you will get it :)
Hope everything goes well for you :D
LadyMech22
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2010): i am 28 and virgin
it sux to be an exception no wrong of yours
i wish you get the best girl for your life soon
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