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Let the past be the past? Or warning sign?!

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 June 2010) 6 Answers - (Newest, 29 June 2010)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I been with my girl for 1 year,we were having intercourse and she yelled out a name that wasnt mines. I was furious and asked her to explain her self. She told me it was the person she was with prior to me,but that wasnt what borthered me. It was the fact the guy was her former bestfriend`s man and the affair lasted a year and a half,while they were still friends! Am I judging her for her past,or is this a warning sign for what to come?

View related questions: affair, her past

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A male reader, dyeruz United Kingdom +, writes (29 June 2010):

ouch no no no get rid of, how lost in yourself and the moment when you're having sex with someone and you scream out someone else's name. Intimacy is the most private and sensual thing between two people and she's replaced you in her head with another guy while you're doing it..ouch!

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A male reader, twinlab99 United States +, writes (29 June 2010):

twinlab99 agony auntThe best leson I ever learned was, circumstances don't make the person, they reveal them..........and no I'm not judging. The best predictor of a persons future behavior is their past behavior...

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A female reader, raiders United States +, writes (28 June 2010):

raiders agony auntDon't take so lightly this warning signs, she was able to betrayed her friend becoming her best friend boyfriend lover not a cool thing to do. I would not take it so lightly and sometimes our past do haunt our future.

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A female reader, arlamai United Kingdom +, writes (28 June 2010):

It is true that if someone has cheated in the past, they could do it again. I am saying that as someone who has cheated on a partner before and I do have to consciously recognise this flaw in myself to stop it from happening again.

However it could have been a rather stupid freudian slip... You have every right to be hurt and her level of apology will tell you if she really understands what she did and has learnt from it or believes it to be of little worry. If she believes it to be of little worry then maybe be concerned. I know I will feel guilty until my dying day for cheating on my ex boyfriend with his flat mate, and that was 5 years ago!

I hope you reach the decision that is best for you x

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A male reader, what to live for United States +, writes (28 June 2010):

both just keep it in your mental library

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2010):

I think this is thing to come i mean its her best-friend man and she slept with him that not right! i could never do that to my best-friend! Once a cheater always a cheater no butt's!

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