A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:a few months ago i snogged a family friend at a weekend away. i really like him but the only problem is that i am 17 and he is 27. it was my first true kiss but it felt wrong because i saw him as a friend. the age gap really bothers me. last night i saw him at a party and i smiled but he completely blanked me out. i started crying and now i cant stop thinking about him. what should i do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, cd206 +, writes (26 March 2007):
 It sounds like you both had second thoughts after the kiss. You say that it didn't feel right because he was a friend but I think you still wanted him to have enjoyed the kiss so you felt validated. Things might change when you're 18. I think age probably has a great deal to do with his mindset but if nothing changes write it off to experience. Not every kiss will lead to a great romance.
CD
A
male
reader, ChiRaven  +, writes (25 March 2007):
 Cool it. Let this one sit for a year or so. I know that's a tall order to behave that way toward the guy who first lit your burners, but things may well look a bit different at 18/28 than they do at 17/27. If you're still of a mind to go after him then, just let him know in subtle but pretty unmistakable ways that (a.) you are a woman now, not a little girl, and (b.) you are interested in him as a man.
Right now, he undoubtedly sees you (with some justification) as a girl. Next year, you can make a convincing case that you've outgrown that. You can do that by BEHAVING like a proper lady in the meantime, and THEN laying it out in ways that he can't mistake. When you're in his vicinity in this next year, try to act as mature as you can without seeming to be play-acting. If you know any women his age, try to model your behavior on what you see them doing (assuming they aren't trying to behave like kids!)
And good luck. Keep the fires burning.
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