A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Where to start? Well in April 2010, I got together with this boy (Adam), and everything was going fine, until November of that same year. I fell for a friend (Darrell), and decided to end things with my boyfriend. About 3 weeks later, I started going out with Darrell, which I was a bit touchy and unsure about, but I went through with it anyway. Darrell and I have been together for about 2 months now, and I'm really starting to miss Adam, as I never really got over him and never stopped loving him. I'm sure it was a mistake to go out with Darrell so soon after my relationship with Adam. Now, my relationship with Darrell isn't working, and I'm confused whether I should end things with him, due to not being ready for a relationship. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (29 January 2011):
Hi. You're very welcome.
Sometimes, when we are not sure about something, it is often beneficial to take a step back from it, to take a more objective look at it all - from a distance.
A break from it (in this case, the relationship), is a perfect way to do just that.
Often when you are right in a situation, it's difficult to see what's really happening, or how you feel - because you are too close to it.
It's kind of like the way if you like a guy, and you are with him all the time, you don't know if you miss him or not. But as soon as you have a few days not seeing each other, then you start to miss them. But this would never happen if you were constantly with them.
So the same thing happens by having a break from a relationship, you can think about every little thing about that person, and will start having thoughts about what you do like and what you don't like so much.
So, it can only be a positive thing to take a step back from it and distance yourself.
I believe it's your best course of action.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDorothy Dix, your right...I'm not sure what I want. And maybe it is good if I just took a break from it all, thanks for your advice. It really helped me!
xoxo
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (28 January 2011):
Hi there. I don't think you know who you really want.
You seem restless about what you want, so because of that perhaps it is best to not have anyone.
Have a break from dating for a little while (a few months), and don't see anyone. Just have fun, go out with your friends and enjoy life.
During this time you can reassess the good points of the first boy and the good points of the second boy.
Perhaps the truth is that you were not all that into either of them really.
Only time will tell. Things happen for a reason. Over time, you see what that reason is.
Best wishes.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2011): Well jumping from one relationship to another is not going to show you as being a very safe bet. If the boy you are with now was better would you still miss the first one then? You are very young yet and lots more experience and learning is in front of you. Jumping straight to another is the first sign that you probably dont love them enough and would have gone wrong anyway. Start again,but dont be with anyone for the sake of it,hang out with friends and enjoy your life.
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