A
male
age
30-35,
*r Zprime
writes:I am a married man coming into my 1st anniversary with my wife. Even though we made it this far, we have issues. I am laidback when it comes to a lot of things, but I can be jealous. It takes quite a bit I think, to bring it out though. My wife has fueled my jealousy by maintaining contact with a guy she used to date who still has feelings for him. She has even told him in an e-mail she left open that she still thinks about him. About a month later, I inadvertently caught her making pictures of herself in her underwear and posting them on various social network website pages. Ever since then, things have gotten worse and she says my jealousy is driving her crazy. I simply remind her that doing what she did (and even still trying to keep in touch with the same guy behind my back; she always gets caught doing it) is the reason why I am jealous. I don't get it. I have asked her time and time again, does she want to be married. She says yes every time but we go right back to fighting over this thing about her having all these guy friends on the net (some of which appear to be pretty close to where we live no less). At the same time, she'll have a fit if I have someone on my friends' list who is a childhood friend/or even the fiancee of my closest friend (Who I have ZERO interest in). I may sound stupid, but I don't get it
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anniversary, fiance, jealous, married man, the internet, underwear Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, InterCntlCHmp  +, writes (23 March 2009):
She is cheating or is going to cheat. FOR SURE!
Suspicion haunts the guilty mind. that's why she freaks out at you if you add a girl to your friends list etc...
A married woman I worked with sent me naked pictures to my cell phone 2 years ago. I had no idea she was going to do this because I barely new her and only hung out once with mutual colleagues. About 2 weeks later we were fucking. Not something I'm proud of and not something I continued.
She's got issues man. And her issues are her own. You shouldn't feel guilty. Get a good divorce lawyer before she gets wind of all of this.
Save yourself while you can. you sound like a decent guy. go on and get a good woman.
A
female
reader, DearCassy +, writes (21 March 2009):
 You seriously need to talk to your wife.This is ridiculous and ignorant behavior.,She has no consideration for your feelings and is acting as if you're not existing.If you want this marriage to last,then I suggest you go to marriage counseling or something,cause you're not getting through her head.The least she can do is take down those pictures.That's just disrespectful.Go to a marriage counselor and try to work it out.If she doesn't want to communicate or doesn't even try to resolve this,then I think you should think about this marriage and ask yourself
if she is really worth the anger and pain she's causing you.
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A
female
reader, asian tealeaf +, writes (20 March 2009):
 i agree wuth u, and we all know women love to throw at men "whats good for the goose ought to be good for the gander!"
shes not following this though, eh? was she doing this before u married? or is this something new? if its new, then maybe id try to get things kinky in ur bdrm, like filming ur own porn, since she seems to be getting off of allowing other men to view her in ways only u should be doing, maybe film it without ur faces showing, post it on a porn site, if shes down for it, and u are, so u can both be involved rather then her doing these things and getting mad when u talk to other women u have zero interest for. otherwise, if she does not agree to this idea, id suggest some serious talking as a couple. sounds to me she has some serious issue about showing herself off sexually to other men, and being a tease, and getting outraged at u for talking to others. innocently. and, if she still has feelings for a guy she dated before, id question her about this seriously. u should never have to feel threatened by an ex. this is inappropriate behavior, and she needs to be reined in hard, and fast before she gets out of control. communication and trust are key terms here.
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A
female
reader, Ginalolabridga  + ♥, writes (20 March 2009):
 Your married only one year and she is posting pictures of herself in her underwear to various sites? Well i for one would not put up with this sort of behaviour what is she thinking here? i hate to say this but i will do you think you made a mistake in marrying her?
She will continue to fuel your rage by this sort of behaviour and may i add this is so unlady like for a new bride to be doing for any woman for that matter.
What you and her have should be special one yr married most couples are still head over heels in love still, but you two seem to be drifting further and further apart and i can see why.
If this marriage is to be a success she needs to get of these sites and stop sending people pictures of herself in her underwear, doesnt she realise what kind of message that is sending out?
Unless you both discuss these issues and try to resolve them i am doubtful whether you will make it to the 2nd anniversary sorry!.
Gina
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A
male
reader, passionatelynumb + ♥, writes (20 March 2009):
 Yeah, your wife is totally out of line. If she chose to marry you over him, then she needs to cut him loose. I'm not saying you can't be "arm-length" friends with an ex after you get married, but I think she is taking it too far in this case.
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A
female
reader, xoticeyez +, writes (20 March 2009):
im sorry
but this in unacceptable - she should be true to u and your vows and this is not being true in any sense. You have every right to wonder, ask and feel something which is not right. Have u asked her why she does this? It's not jealousy its about trust and in my words, i think its plain not being honest with you and her feelings. I hope all works out as it is your first year of marriage - maybe she wants some attention, take her out, wine n dine her - maybe she's feeling you dont show enough attention. Re-assure your love for her and that she doesn't need to feel insecure. Explain to her without blame why you are feeling what you are feeling. I feel .. because of .. Actions speak louder than words sometimes.
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